June 2007


~rose~

Ummul Mu’minin Khadijah…
The Mother of the Believers
You are the best woman in the earth [1]
You married the noblest man in the world and jannah
You born the leader of women of Paradise Fathimah [2]
You are grandmother of outstanding man in Jannah Hasan and husayn

Allah the Most High and Jibril conveyed His blessing upon you
Give you a glad tiding as the owner a mansion in paradise
Made of brilliant pearls
Which there will be no clamor or toil [3]

You are At thahirah [the pure] with nobility chastity
A determined and intelligent woman
Born from the respectable family
Belong to the noblest one
A wealthy and generous woman

The grieve because left by your dear husband
The grieve of the failed of your second married [4]
But your patience fruit the happiness
You were prepared for a purest man on earth…

You hear about al-Ameen (the trustworthy one)
He is al-Saadiq (the honest one)
You hear his noble character…
Impressed with the personality
His honest and trustworthy
You do willing to be his soul partner…

You nervous wondering
If that young man will see you
You felt so old….

Oh khadijah…
Al Ameen was so poor
You are so respectable woman…
You are intelligent beautiful
You are wealthy
Many respectable men were keen to marry you.
You seem unreachable…

Allah knows the intention of your heart
He destined you what you deserve
Married you with him
The best man who respect your nobility and chastity….

On that blessed day
You show your generosity …
You invited all the poor…
You honor an old woman Halimah as-Sa’diyah
Back to her village with 40 of sheep
As the gift for woman who have care your beloved husband

A wonderfully blessed marriage
Lived together in a profound harmony
The ideal of intimacy, friendship,
mutual respect, support and consolation
The faithful and loyalty

You give everything you have
Your husband love one of your slave – Zaid bin Haritsah
You give him as gift
He love that slave like his own son….

He appreciate everything that you give
Your love and kindness always return back…
With more more love and honor

Your love and mercy growing
Increasing in quality and depth as the years passed by

You add his happiness with the most beautiful gift
al-Qasim, Abdullah, Zainab, Ruqqayah, Ummi Kalsum and Fatimah.

When ..You find your dear husband like to khalwat
You never prevent him to away from you..
You keep follow him with your love and heart
You ask people to care him around
Prepare him the food

That day when he came home shivering with fear
You covered and calmed him with the tenderness of love..
You behave wisely
Show your maturity…
You care and warn your dear first
Never annoy him with questions first
Until he told you himself…

You so trust and confident of him..
You cheer him that Allah will never disgrace him

You believe in him
You said
He is a noble man who always uphold the tie of kinship
Speak always truthfully,
Help always the poor and destitute.
Serve always the guests generously
And assist always those who stricken by calamity [5]
Your wise tender words greatly comfort him

Never ever doubt him,
Always sure he is the best..
Nor show the slightest hesitation towards him
Always be his greatest source of comfort,
The first one provide security for him

You search help to clear what happened with you husband
Affirm your feelings of his high dignities
A messenger of Allah is your husband….

You be the first to believe in Allah and His Messenger
You the first to believe in what his Lord sent him
You strengthened him in all his affairs.

You spent all what you have for his da’wah….
Until that day he saw you crying
But not due the poverty
The sadness no has anything left anymore to spend in His way…

Remember that day when all Quraish boycott the prophet
You company him to your end
You were the richest who owed several kinds of trade.
That time you were shivering in hungry
Your beauty fades due of poverty
You feel the hard..
You felt sick lying on your bed….
You keep put smiles on your face
to welcoming your husband
You never complain
nor show your sorrow…..
To strengthen his ways always

Khadijah
He never forget all what you did….

Your dear husband loves never fade
Death couldn’t take his love away….
You always have a special place in his heart
Your gesture and voice… recorded strongly in his mind

He always constantly mentions your name…
Didn’t get tired of praising you
Mentioned you virtues and merits extensively on many occasions
It seem he never depart his house before praised you

Whenever he sacrificed a sheep
He would send it to those who had been your intimate friends.
He love you dearly
as if there had never been any other woman in the world like you [6]

Anything hurt you.. That would hurt him too..
He couldn’t bear to hear bad thing in your regard
Even that came from his beloved wife Aishah…

He said….
You are a wife who believed in him when other rejected him
You accepted Islam when people rejected
You helped and comforted him
When there was no one else to lend him a helping hand
You affirmed his truthfulness when everyone else accused he lying
You supported him with you money when everyone else deprived him.
Allah provided him with children through you
When no other woman has given me children. [7]

How could someone forget you
You are a loveable woman
You are an adorable woman…
And perfect affectionate mother..
A virtuous wife
You always beside your husband to listen his sorrow
You are a wise behalf
You are the best friend and counselor…

Allah loves you more
Your soul is His belong…
to Him you return
Your dear husband buried your body with his own hand
That day…that year be a great grieve time in his live….

And he call your for the palace that He promises
Give you a glad tiding as the owner a mansion in paradise
Made of brilliant pearls
Which there will be no clamor or toil

~~~***~~~~

May Allah help all us to be like Khadijah…
A blessed woman whom Allah and her husband please with her
May Allah bless all muslimah with a husband who love and respect his wife like Rasulullah salallahu alahi wassalam love and respect Khadijah…

InshaAllah
Ameen

Rytha
Batam 19 February 2007

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[1] Ali ibn Abi Talib (ra) narrated that the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said, “The best of the world’s women is Mary (in her lifetime) and the best of the world’s women is Khadijah (in her lifetime). [Bukhari] Abu Musa Al ashari also narrated that the Prophet (pbuh) said, “Many among men attained perfection, but among women none attained perfection except mary the daughter of Imran, and Asiya the wife of Pharoah, and the superiority of Aisha to other women is like the superiority of Tharid (an Arabic dish) to other meals”
[2] (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, al-Manaaqib, 3353) “The best f the women of Paradise are: Khadeejah, Faatimah, Maryam [Mary] and ‘Aasiyah.” (Ahmad and An-Nasaa’ee)
[3] Reported by Abu Hurayrah & collected by al-Bukhaaree (vol.5 pp.104-5 no.168) & Muslim (vol.4 p.1297 no.5967))
[4] Khadijah first husband is Abu Halah bin Zurarah at-Tamimi, he die, they had 2 children Halah dan Hindun. Then she married Atiq bin ‘A’id bin Abdullah al-Makhzumi after some times they divorced.
[5] (Reported by ‘Aa’ishah & collected by Muslim (eng. Trans vol.1 pp.96-8 no.301).
[6] HR Bukhaaree (eng. Trans. Vol.5 p.104 no.166) & Muslim (eng. Trans. Vol.4 p.1297 no.5972)[7] (HR. Ahmad, Al-Isti’ab karya Ibnu Abdil Ba’ar)

 

My dear husband Ahmad….
Please ignore all what I have written previously dear….

I am not crying because regretting of discontinue relationship with any other non mahram man. I believe that what I should do.

The marriage is not a start for a muslimah to caring their husband feeling. It should start from long time back even before she meets him…… not for the sake of the man that going to be her destined only, but for the sake to please here Rabb… Allah subhana wata’ala….

I am just feeling jealousy dear….

Crying is my only weapon …..
I can’t be like Sa’ad bin Ubada who said if he was to see a man with his wife, he would has struck him with the sword, and not with the flat part (side) of it. [1]

I will not able to strike anyone with sword, Allah knows best, I even do not have courage to say you any words that can hurt your feelings..I am not saying I am afraid of you as there is no one that I should afraid but Allah..I am just trying my best to care your feelings and comfort.

Do you know dear…seeing you in trouble it harder to me than stricken by hundreds swords…. My eyes will hardly taste sleep until you are happy and please. It my weakness as woman that sometimes cant voice what we feel… because doesnt want to cause bitterness in our dear heart…..We tend choose to swallow the bitterness ourselves than create shadow into our dear heart……

Hence I only can cry myself or silent.

Dear..there are a lot of our brothers in Islam who are so nice, witty, famous, wealthy, but they are not my husband, having relationship with them is meant nothing if that cost of hurting your feelings….. I try my best take care you gheerah [protective jealousy], I do not want to upset you even if the offer of friendship from the purest.

I will never betray you when you are present. I will care your honor more when you are absent. There will be no man step in our house when you are away….not from doors of our house…and not from the windows of any instant messengers

Dear, a wonderful sahabiyyah….Asma binti Abu Bakar chose to walk carry on her heavy head the stones of the dates 2 miles away rather than accept the offer of Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam along with group of companion for a ride.[2] She could accept it but She felt shy to go with man and she remembers Zubair – her husband and his gheerah. She decline the offer of Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam

Doesn’t matter the jealously that I feel and how deep you ever hurt me… I will inshaAllah always considering your feeling….. The hardship, won’t be the justification to ignoring your jealousy, your feelings…..

I shall always be faithful to you since the holy bond has joined us. Such a relation would not have existed but for your faith and religious commitment and your accepting to marry me. Caring your feeling is so sacred and things that I don’t like to speculate….

I am just really feeling jealousy dear….

Please don’t worry dear….
I don’t hate you, I don’t angry to you , I don’t have any bad feeling about you, I don’t suspect you are committing something sin. Na’uzubillah. This is just the feeling of jealousy; Pure jealousy to my dear husband that I love dearly

Do you feel strange with my jealousy honey?

When Allah’s Messenger Sallahu alahi wassalam heard about Sa’ad’s jealousy to his wife with other man, Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam said: Are you surprised at Sa’d’s jealousy of his honour? By Allah, I am more jealous of my honor than he, and Allah is more jealous than I. [3]

Al-Tabari and other scholars said: Jealousy on the part of women is to be overlooked and they are not to be punished for it because it is part of their nature.
[4]

Some centuries ago there was a lady that more pious, smarter, prettier than your wife. She has same name like me. She is our mother ummul mu’minin Aishah Radiyallahu anhu…..She experienced the same like what I am feeling right now….

This jealousy doesn’t always mean I don’t trust and believe in you, I do trust and believe in your whole my heart. Our bond of love has been framed by sacred the marriage. Our true commitment in front of Allah…But Jealousy is just something different. It’s a nature dear; the ingredient of love….It is the sign of love itself. No woman is free from, so long as she does not overstep the mark and do or say anything that Allaah has forbidden, Allah forgive her…wallahualam….

Which man that more noble, pure and trustworthy than Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam? He sallahu alahi wassalam is a perfect husband. Nobody doubts how Ummul mu’minin Aishah trust him dearly……..

Once ummul mu’minin said never felt so jealous of any woman as I did of Khadija, though she had died three years before the Prophet married me, and that was because I heard him mentioning her too often, and because his Lord had ordered him to give her the glad tidings that she would have a palace in Paradise, made of Qasab and because he used to slaughter a sheep and distribute its meat among her friends. [5] It is as if there had never been any other woman in the world except Khadijah.”

Ummul mu’minin Aishah jealous to her husband’s co wife khadijah, even if she never met khadijah, Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam always mention her.

What about a wife should feel if her husband mentioning about the other woman who not halal for him often? I believe they have right to feel more jealous….

I hope you understand my feelings dear….
I would rather you do not mention about your ex- fiancé often. Please don’t remind me if you did love her a lot now and then…. I have understood it. But it’s hard to comprehend that right now I am the only one in your heart if you keep mentioning her name or any other woman.

If woman is not allowed describing about the other woman in front of her husband because it would be fitnah for her husband, I believe a husband also shouldn’t describe about the other woman in front of his wife because it could cause the evils easily whispering bad things and cause jealousy into his wife’s heart….

In Rasulullah salallahu alahi wassalam’s polygamies marriage… jealousy among his wives is a halal competition to reach Rasulullah attention, to get more his love.

It’s very strange and really inappropriate if a wife should be in struggle to reach her husband attention with other non mahram woman who even do not halal for her husband. A good husband will not put his wife in such low condition…. She shouldn’t in competition with these women…. A competition only fair if they have the same status and class… A Wife and non mahram woman, they are exactly different…..A wife should already be the only winner in her husband’s heart since the ijab and the qabul being pronounced in the aqad of marriage.

Dear …I have a lot more to write ….but I already feeling pain on my back…I need to lie down…InshaAllah I will write to you more latter….

Please forgive me if I am saying something wrong … I am sincerely do not have any intention to hurt you…

May Allah forgive me if my jealousy cause so much trouble in your in these days… May Allah keep the bond of our love stronger….

With so much love

Fiamanillah
Your wife
Aishah

To be continues inshaAllah…..
Batam 7 May 2007
Rytha N


[1] HR Muslim Book 009, Number 3572
[2] HR Muslim Book 026, Number 5417
[3] HR Muslim Book 026, Number 5417
[4] Al-Adaab al-Shar’iyyah, 1/248
[5] HR Bukhari Volume 8, Book 73, Number 33: