~ Physical Beauty and The Marriage [Part 2] ~

Picture by Sr. Fariha Mahmood

When the beauty fade

Nothings last forever

Dear brothers in Islam…… There is no creature in this world that can be so much deceived by the beauty of woman but you brothers….Rasulullah salallahu alahi wassalam said “I am not leaving behind any fitnah (trial, temptation) more harmful to men than women.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4706). And in another narration he sallahu alahi wassalam warned, …….so beware of this world and beware of women, for the first fitnah (temptation, trial) that befell the Children of Israel was concerning women.” (Reported by Muslim, 4925).

Brothers….

Marrying a beautiful girl is not something wrong. It can strengthen your heart and shield you from falling into haram things… You can find so many beautiful girls with many kind types, shapes and styles from oriental face, European, American, Asian, Arabian, etc… You will find the natural beauty to the fake beauty. Actually you even can’t compare it. You will never know if their lips real or plastic, if their nose real of just created…

There are so many number of woman compare than man. If you only concern about beauty you can so easily pick one on the street….

Do you know brother how much woman themselves being so much obsessed by the word of beauty? They can sacrifice everything to become more and more beautiful. Women have to get through painful diets. Some of them do cosmetic surgery; they apply tons of chemical make up daily. They have to spend thousands and millions dollars for maintain their beauty just to get tummy tuck to maintain flat and beautiful stomach, such as liposuction etc, they meet the surgeon to create beautiful butt, beautiful breasts…. Etc… They turn freak out about their beauty ….

Imagine brother… What if you fall to that kind of woman….

Brothers in Islam…. All of them just superficial beauty…. No matter what, no matter how much money you have ….those beauty will be slowly fade away through the time… This is the work of the nature…. Your beautiful wife can not get young and fresh forever…she is getting old day by day….. Someone who known as beautiful princess will not always become princes… soon will be another younger beautiful princess who will look more beautiful than her… there always sky above the sky…..

My dear brother who marriage only for beauty….

Do you remember the day finally you could marry your beautiful wife? … You felt so proud in front of your friends, relatives, colleagues. All wondered what thing special from you until you could marry such beautiful lady … All people started of you jealously… How luckiest man on earth you were… You felt like flying… such a good fortune you had

What you feel now brother…Can that beauty really strengthen your soul? Do you feel the comfort with her beauty that she also exposes for the other? What you see also can be seen by the other man…. Anyway… Day by day her beauty becomes something not special anymore. You see her every day, sometimes when she angry and argue with you ..you feel her beauty just vanish… even another woman look more attractive and beautiful than her…. She grows become fat…. that flat stomach just messy up after she delivered some babies… Her smooth skins just getting wrinkle…

Beauty that not framed by the inner beauty – the strength in her deen.. That beauty will be only be the disaster, become the fitnah in your life……Your marriage will turn like the hell in earth ….full of fighting, disagreement, especially when anytime you advice her about her deen..

You already unjust to your children by give them a wrong mother…that they will grow up in the hand of woman who care more her physically beauty than care her children…I have seen some ladies they buy every new coming nice dress and full of make up and color… while she keep her children like the beggar…and it enough buy the second hand dress..

Brother finally when you grow old….when your sexually desire decrease you will know what you actually need.. Someone that can bring peace in your heart, a true life partner that bring peace in your heart, someone who will be hand in hand ….help each other to get closer to your Creator.

That day you will find out the physically beauty is not everything, there is something more crucial and fundamental for the happiness of marriage.. that is her deen and her commitment in her belief…. Her personality, her inner beauty, her brain, her heart, her sincerity, her truth, her lovely nature….. those beauty inshaAllah will be stronger and be part of her that will make you see her keep beauty through the time.. bring you the comfort and the happiness… that beauty will be the true beauty that make you soul complete…

It was narrated that Thawbaan said: Umar asked Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam: O Messenger of Allaah, what kind of wealth should we acquire? He said: “Let one of you acquire a thankful heart, a tongue that remembers Allaah and a believing wife who will help him with regard to the Hereafter.” Narrated and classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi (3094). In another version it says: “who will help him with his faith.” Ibn Maajah (1856).

The life is a temporary accommodation, and the best of its accommodations is a righteous wife. [Recorded by Muslim, Ahmad and An Nasa’i] The best woman is that who pleases you when you look at her, obey you when you order her, and safeguard you during your absence in regard to herself and your wealth [Recored by At-Tabarani (in Al-Kabir) and others] May Allah guide all of us in the straight path, Guide our heart to make the best choice and decision in life to please Him always first in all things we do inshallah

Finish

Rytha
Batam
Batam 5 December 2007

 

~My life is belong to You~

Allah
My life is belong to You
But I am still complaining for ordeals of this life

Allah
My life is belong to You
But I am still moaning of my heart bleeding

Allah
My life is belong to You
But I am still transgressing your laws

Allah..
My life is belong to You
Please heal my heart
Be more ikhlas and ihsan…

Allah
My Life is belong to You
Forgive Your weak slave
Forgive Your sinner slave

Guide My Heart
Lead it to any way You wish
Lead my life to any way You please…
Let me be Your humble grateful slave…

Ameen…

Rytha
Batam, 15 May 2008

 

~Expect & respect your Wife jealousy Part 4 ~

Assallammu’alaikum warohmatullahi wabarokatuhMy dear husband Ahmad… If Allah allows me I had flied to the sky to bring the stars as gift for you, but He the Almighty says the stars is for the lamps that adorn the sky and the missiles to drive away the Syaithan… Therefore I let them there as the adornment of sky so that you can keep seeing its beauty.

I want you know dear, for me you are like the star in my life that always lighten my sky, you adorn my life with so many beautiful things… Marrying such lovely and understanding husband like you is one of the happiest and the greatest blessing in woman life….. alhamdulillah…

Dear…
Jazakallahu khair for such lovely email, May Allah increase you in knowledge and wisdom. May Allah strengthen that love for His sake forever…May Allah make you always keep that lovely and sweet…. ameen.

In this first year of our marriage I realize we have been through so many new things, so many up and down. We just began the new life. You are learning how to be a leader in our family; you are learning how to care , how to love someone in your life. I believe it’s not an easy task for you dear to care complicated creature named woman.

I aware… I myself still far from perfect.… There are a lot of things that I have to learn how to please and to serve you best, to become the coolness of your eyes, to be the comfort of your heart. Indeed it need such of patience and struggle, but it’s a worth journey to be your righteous wife.. I want be your best treasure in the earth, to make you please as my path to Jannah.. inshaAllah….

I believe at times you feel some disappointments that made you had to restrain your anger. So much of times the emotion came over, I have tested so much of your patience…. Alhamdulillah at those times you always remember the saying of Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam that “The strong man is not the one who can wrestle (fight); the strong man is the one who controls himself at the time of anger.” [HR Al-Bukhaari 6114]…

The love for the sake of Allah alhamdulillah make you become someone just…. that love only make you angry to me for His sake, that love made you able to control your emotion, you not just burst out in anger at anytime you want. You never become someone egoist who just saying hurt things to satisfy yourself no matter that words that hurt for your wife. That love always be winner …..to calm you down…. That love always softener your heart to always forgive your dear one ….mashaAllah… that patience and understanding make my love and respect grow and grow toward you…

InshaAllah….. May Allah make us among of them who given the shade of His throne in the day of judgment because of our sincere love for His sake….

Dear.. this marriage is an important chapter of our life that we should try our best to pass with a lot of faith in Allah.. Seek help from Him always for his Mercy, to grant us more patience and understanding each other… We seek the refuge of Allah from the traps of Syaithan who always try their best to separate two hearts that being gathered by sacred bond of Marriage…

They are in racing to win their throne among their fellows to gain the greatness success of separation the husband and wife…Imam Muslim reported on the authority of Jabir ibn `Abdullah, who stated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“Iblis (Satan) places his throne upon water, then sends his groups. The closest to him are those who (tempt people to) commit the most grievous of sins (fitnah). One of them would approach him and say: I did such-and-such. Iblis would reply: You have done nothing. Another would approach and say: I did not leave him (a man) until I caused him to leave his wife and for them to be separated. Iblis would bring him close to his throne and would say: How good you are!”

May Allah protect us from their evils…..

Dear.. InshaAllah this is a earnest commitment in my heart, with all my heart and with all my soul I will not let them win… I will fight them my best till the last of my breath, I will keep running to you, to keep be closer to you, to keep pleasing you.. so that they will never win and never ever win to make you away from me, to destroy our bond of marriage .. I will never let those cruel enemy of mankind win over us….la haula walla quwata illa billah….

They are the worse of enemy that always consistently whispering hater in our heart, blow up our anger, pop up our arrogance and egoism to make us becoming a cruel creature to able hurting our beloved one… They will try to make us argue and fight over the small things….. Indeed they are the most worse of creature who keep trying persistently to find the doors to separate a husband from his wife. When we feel so much confident, they are preparing more traps to make us follow their footsteps until we fall to the grief sins…na’uzubillah…

Dear… You are my precious jewel, my soul companion in this world, inshaAllah we will be the eternal companion each other in jannah … . I oblige to protect you and guard you from the traps of syaithan. Be the garment that wraps you from haram things…. be your companion that keep try to pull you back to the straight path when you are mislead ….

Dear
At times when I felt jealousy …I keep asking you if Do you love me….It doesn’t mean I don’t trust you dear….

Ummul mu’munin Aishah used to ask Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam “How is your love for me?”

Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam didn’t ask aishah back ….
“Why you ask me that question?
“Don’t you trust me ? ”
“If not love you why I married you?”
“Of course I love you that why I still with you, what do you think?”
“What I should do to make you believe me if I love you? “ ….

Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam answer ummul mu’minin softly :
He sallahu alahi wassalam used to say : that love is “Like the rope’s knot,”

MashaAllah that mean love of Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam for Aishah is so strong and secure.

Time after time thereafter, Ummul mu’minin Aishah would ask Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam again “How is the knot?”

Rasulullah didn’t reply her :
“I have told you …. I love you….., why keep asking me the same question all time”
“Should I have to tell I love again and again?”
“Oh Dear… Don’t ask me that silly question again and again!”
“My love not very cheap that I have to tell you all times…. The less it say…the more precious of it…. You know that !”

Rasulullah sallahu alaihi wassalam was very understanding …..Rasulullah sallahu alaihi wassalam replied Aishah : “Ala haaliha in the same condition.” He affirmed her….his love still the same…the same strong and secure…

Dear….
When I am jealousy I may ask you that question….when I want to feel happy I will ask you the same question , when I am feeling sad I will ask this question again…It because I want my dear husband say he loves me all time….It bring so much secure and joy…Your love can make brighter my days…Your love give so much spirit and the strength to step all the difficulty that we are facing….

Dear….
Doesn’t matter how many great women that ever you met….Your wife always wants to be the best for you….. Sometimes she just want to hear your confirmation …

I did know you kind of lie when you told me I look gorgeous when my weight adds 10 kg due of pregnancy…But I just love to hear those lie so much.

Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam allows a man to lie with his wife…to make his wife happy… for the sake of harmony [not for cheating] [HR Muslim Book 32, Number 6303] May Allah counts that as the sincere du’a from you….

Dear…
Please don’t get irritate if in this month It already more than 10 times asked you if I am looking great …I know what I look in the mirror with my big tummy due to pregnancy …I just want you keep saying I still look beautiful for you….Please don’t get lost your cool, people said pregnant woman kinda difficult to handle. Woman always want to look beautiful for her husband in any situations…..The worse they much more want to keep looking beautiful in the eyes of their husband even when they are in the state of pregnancy…. They need much more extra love and care….

Ummul mu’minin Aishah tried to confirm her position among other Rasulullah Wives…..Once she asked Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam …

“O Messenger of God, tell me of yourself. If you were between the two slopes of a valley, one of which had not been grazed whereas the other had been grazed, on which would you pasture your flocks?”

“On that which had not been grazed,” replied the Prophet. “Even so,” she said, “and I am not as any other of your wives. “Everyone of them had a husband before you, except myself.”

MashaAllah… Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam just smiled and said nothing. InshaAllah my dear husband also will keep smiling just like Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam smile to Aishah when anytime I asking him all the silly questions. Especially in this difficult time of my pregnancy

Please be patience dear…Just like Rasulullah salahu alahi wassalam be patience to ummul mu’mini Aishah…

Please be patience and be tender always…
Please deal with me like Rasulullah salallahu alahi salam deal with Aishah…

From the companion Anas Narrated : While the Prophet was in the house of one of his wives, one of the mothers of the believers sent a meal in a dish. The wife at whose house the Prophet was, struck the hand of the servant, causing the dish to fall and break.

Subhanallah….
That incident happened in front if prophet companions…What would be the reaction of husband in our time if his wife acts like that? I just can’t imagine…. Men tend to keep their status and pride higher…Maybe he will just easily to divorce his wife, what bad thing that she did in front of his friends……….

Anas then told us how rasulullah sallahualahi wassalam reacted in this incidence….

Anas said…Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam gathered the broken pieces of the dish and then started collecting on them the food which had been in the dish Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam then turned to companions radiyallahu anhum and said, “Your mother (my wife) felt jealous.” Then Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam detained the servant till a (sound) dish was brought from the wife at whose house he was. He gave the sound dish to the wife whose dish had been broken and kept the broken one at the house where it had been broken [Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 152]

Subhanallah……The best Moslem is the one who has good character….

It’s not something strange what Aishah did…Rasulullah salalhu alahi wassalam comprehended this incident, He just forgave Aishah. He only said… “Your mother felt jealous”…He didn’t turn in rage at all….Subhanallah….

Jealousy is the nature of woman…..Please try to expect and respect it dear…

You have to expect it because it sign of her love, her gheerah is sign of her virtuous to protect you from evils. Her jealousy will be a self introspection for her to make her try to serve and make you happy and please more. Her gheerah will make her strive harder to elevate her status over the hoor of Jannah…..

You have to respect it…. because She is your half of soul, you should consider her feeling and comfort so much ….She is your life partner that already help you to away from haram things, she worth for your care. She has so much soft heart, so sensitive feelings that If you ignore it…. It will turn bad…If you belittle what she feel… Your home would like the hell…She is just like a glass vessel… so easy to break….She created from the bend rip that have to straighten with tenderness….

Allah trusts you to care and love that vessel, to put her in the very soft place of your heart, to manage and care it with the tenderness. You should put her very close in your heart, so that you will always remember her at anytime you want to do something wrong that you might would break that vessel…and You will feel fear the wrath of Allah if you try to betray the trust that Allah has given in your hand……..

Dear…
From the bottom of my heart.. Please forgive me for making your worry in these days….…Forgive me for trouble you with my jealousy…. I love you so much….

InshaAllah I will never ever do anything that I mentioned in my previous email…I truly love you. True sincere believers will never response bad with bad….Our love each other has to full of mercy and compassion. I will never do something that myself not comfortable with it inshaAllah…I will try my best to never do something that even slightly could trouble you….This jealousy will never go the limit that harm our deen…

May this marriage make us become a better person. Lets we try our best to train each other best… so that when our child grow up, they will find their parents as a good role model, they will find the tranquility and the comfort risen in the house that fill with a lot of love, respect and understanding…. They will see the sunnah of Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam apply in our daily life, make them closer to the sunnah time by time… inshaAllah…

May Allah makes us be the best companion in this world and be the best companion in hereafter… So we not include among them who hate and be enemy each other in the day of judgment…. ameen….

Subhanakallahumma wabihamdika ashadu ala ilaha illa anta astaghfirulla wa’atubu ilaika

With so much trust and love
Wassallammu’alaikum warohmatullahi wabarokatuh
Love
Your wife
Aishah….

Finish…

 

~ Physical Beauty and The Marriage [Part 1] ~

 

My Dear sister in Islam…What would feel when someone intends to marry you, he comes to your parent to see you. After he has seen you… He just goes back, never come back, not move forward with his proposal…

Will you hate this brother?

What you feel about a brother who asks people about your beauty first than your religion?

Will you feel so humiliated?

We may think a brother who asks about beauty… as someone who has not strong commitment in his deen…. We jump labeling him as someone who only care about beauty. We may would start to questioning his understanding of his deen…….

Astaghfirullah.. wa na’uzubillah..

Do you know sister..

Once upon a time……Imam Ahmad rahimahullah advice if a man want to propose marriage to a woman, he should ask about her beauty first, and if good things are said, he should ask about her religious commitment, and if good things are said, he should marry her. If he doesn’t hear good things about her religious commitment, then he will have rejected her because of her religious commitment. He should not ask about her religious commitment first, then if good things are said, then he asks about her beauty, then if he does not hear anything good, he rejects her because of beauty and not because of religious commitment. End Quote [Syarh Muntahā’l Iradāt, vol. II, page. 623.]

Subhanallah….

Sister…..
Imam Ahmad rahimahullah… very wise…. he doesn’t want a mu’min leave a God fearing muslimah just because that muslimah not meet his standard of beauty in fact he fully aware she is a true believer who has strong understanding of her deen… He doesn’t like a mu’min refuse another muslimah not because of the deen matter…

Wallahualam…

Dear Sister…

It’s not something make you become more holy, more pure or make your marriage become more Islamic marriage by marrying someone who never being seen before…. With the same reason you cant refuse the right of you suitor to see you because of this kind of personal preference.

I am sorry for some sisters who raise in certain culture who belief these things, they consider this kind of marriage as something very Islamic, better and best…. In certain cases even cause the offense and humiliate feeling if the suitor come to see the girl…

I am sorry too for them who blindly accept someone that offered by their shaikh/teacher or the respected person. with the faith that would make them more pure and sincere…. Or some just accept it with whatever reasons such as afraid will be cursed by their fellows group of da’wah that they will start to doubt of his/her commitment in da’wah if asking to see candidate first… Some go with blindly marriage just in intention to show their obedient and their submission to the choice of shaikh… etc. .. Wa na’uzubillah…

This way of marriage is just the opposite of getting marriage where boys and girls have date each other and become so free in their relation. However… the first way is too extreme…. and another one is the wrong way… Allah knows best…

The sunnah of Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam is we are ordered to see the person that we are going to marry…. because it is the basis on which a very important decision affecting a person’s life will be taken

Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam told a companion Al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah that going to marry an Anshar lady : ‘Look at her, because it is more fitting that love and compatibility be established between you.’ [Reported by al-Daaraqutni, 3/252 (31, 32); Ibn Maajah, 1/574]

Rasulullah salahu alahi wassallam must have a wisdom by advising the companions to see first someone that he was going to marry. He salallahu alahi wassalam said.. it can strengthen the heart, more fitting the love and compatibility between both of couple. This sunnah inshaAllah ensure the love and affection will be generated between them…….. subhanallah…Allah knows best.

Sister… unlike what we thought before… Actually this is a part of the sunnah our brother in Islam to choose a wife that suite for him in beauty, because it will give greater sense of tranquility and more likely help him lower his gaze. The one that meet his level of beauty that will keep him happy to build a family based on love and respect. That beauty will be a shield for him from fall to the haram things…

Allah knows best

My dear sister……

Please broaden your heart, keep be patience and always have trust in Allah….. If someone comes to ask your hand to marry then he cancel his intention to marry you because you are not meet his beauty standard, please don’t be sad sister…. keep praising to Allah… be grateful to Him…..Try your best to keep a husnuzaan with the intention of your fellow brother in Islam… InshaAllah soon.. Allah will replace him with someone better .. someone who will accept you whatever you are….

Why sister ?

Can you imagine to spend rest of your life with someone who not feel compel with you ? It like nightmare and torturing yourself…..For the marriage you must be willing to give the best for your companion both in physically and spiritually fulfillment. Marriage is not game….…. It is a place of both party to feel the pleasure and enjoyment…. The peak of happiness is when you can give the best fulfillment to your spouse … to be the coolness of his eyes… the coolness of his heart…

Sister… it would be hurt you so much…. it would be much more humiliated you if in the future when you find out your hubby thinks ” My wife is too short….I didn’t know if my wife too fat… I actually prefer my wife more fairer” etc…

Sister… Everyone has their own preference… The beauty itself is very relative depends on person to person preference… It may you are not considered as a beautiful girl for one suitor but you will be look so beautiful for one who Allah destined become your life partner…. inshaAllah…

Sister…. This is the nature of human being to demand and dream something…. … Our pious brother also a human being, they are normal man who have fitrah to love beauty… It’s not tarnish their quality of his deen…if they have a specific beauty in their mind for his wife to be…. Just like you also have the same right to have specific qualities for your husband to be

However… It would bring more confidence yourself if your husband knew how you look like when he moved forward to marry you… You do not need to wondering whether you would be beauty enough to your husband… because you are his choice… both outside and inward aspects….

Subhanallah…. this sunnah is to respect the marriage institution itself… To prevent the regret and disappointment in the future… The refusal it could be his good fear of Allah to mistreating you if he keep move on in marrying you ….

Dear sister …

Strengthen your heart to keep following the guidance of Allah and His messenger salallahu alahi wassalam to get through all the procedures of the sunnah with patiently …

Dear sister … Allah knows what you feel deep down your heart when you have to move from one suitor to another suitor… When you have to smiles from one family to another family who coming to know you….….Allah knows best your patience that you have to answer the interviewer…

However sister… You still have the key in your hand.. Let other choose…. Finally you the one who decide… Allah and His Messenger give you that right … Nobody can force you to marry anyone without your agreement… InshaAllah

Allah Knows best….

Rytha
Batam 5 December 2007

to be continue inshaAllah

 

~Romantic Husband~

This writing to enlighten my sisters in Islam, to make them feel optimist if there are still good Muslim husbands among of them who mischief and cheat behind their wife….

Although haram love Affair spreading in our community we can’t generalize if all man are just the same, accuses all of them are hypocrite… astaghfirullah…

One sister told me

How wonderful her husband…
That day they visited a place outside the city.. They were late and missed the last bus…..So they had to walk home….

She felt so much tired and begged him to get rest for few minutes…Her husband said… she would die if she stop, she has to keep moving because the weather was so cold…keep moving will keep them warm…But she stopped and just couldn’t walk again…

Sisters.. You know what her husband did ?
He carried her [if not wrong he carried her on his back]….
That was quite long walk…She felt sorry for him.. and asked her husband to let her down…

But he said…“No…it’s a practice to me…. It’s practice for jihad.. if one day I go for jihad and I have to carry my injury brother, how could I feel tired and left him down…”

MashaAllah…so sweet…

Another sister shared me…

That day she was sick, she got vomit so many times….Her husband beside her whole day and night to take care of her, he lost his sleep…He patiently cleaned all what she vomit from her stomach without feel any disgust, in fact she herself feel so much disgust.

He carried her on his hands while she felt so much heavy to walk herself…..

She said to me… that one great thing if marrying a pious husband who love you… he will always take care of you…and always feel pain that you feel…

Another sister
She was in very nervous because her husband came home late..She called all people that she know to ask if they know where her husband.

What was inside her mind was very worry, not suspicious feeling. Because after years of their marriage never once he came late without inform her…That was the first time.

Alhamdulillah her husband finally came up. That day there was heavy rain…he was stuck in somewhere, he couldn’t call his wife because her cellular low battery.

They have so wonderful life. They share all things…, they use the same cellular number, use the same email address. Never let any secret behind… They like two bodies one soul who share all things together…

MashaAllah….

Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam said that ” the Believers who show the most perfect Faith are those who have the best behavior, and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives.” [At- Tirmidhi]. Narrated by Abu Hurairah

See sisters…..
The good man indeed still exists…
Some of them already married…. ..
But inshaAllah be patience… Allah will make you meet one of them soon….

“……Our Lord! Grant unto us spouse and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous.” Ameen

Rytha
Batam 14 March 2007

 

~Our Prayers – Part 2~

Why those sisters prayed earlier for fajr in the airport?

Maybe they thought, they were in the state of traveling so it’s allowed to pray earlier.

Maybe they had to board into the airplane soon…so that they thought It’s better to pray earlier compare than not pray fajr at all…

Wallahualam….

As short as my understanding, it is not allowed to pray earlier although we are in the state of traveling. There are some Rukhshah [ease] that Allah gives for travelers, but it’s not to pray earlier than its prescribed time.

We are allowed to gather and shorten prayer during traveling, but they have to be done in its prescribed time. When we want to gather and shorten Dhur and Ashr, we do it in the time of Dhur or Ashr. When we want to gather Maghrib and Isha, we do it in the time of Maghrib or Isha.

We indeed have to be very mindful and careful to care our fajr time, because we can’t gather fajr with any other prayer and the time of fajr is quite short.

Allah gives us so much ease. There are no reasons to do something or create something outside of this deen…

In previous situation, actually those sisters could pray in waiting room before board to airplane, because the journeys with airplane usually it’s required about one hour or even 2 hours to check in before boarding. It‘s sufficient time to pray first.

We can pray anywhere, the scholars only made very few exceptions where we can’t pray such as graveyard and lavatories. Even if one can find no other place than a church, it is permissible to pray in it. Wallahualam.

Just in case the fajr time just starts when we are already in the airplane, we are allowed to pray inside the airplane, because it is allowed to pray on moving vehicle.

Before board to the airplane we can take abolition in the toilet. It will be so much ease if we always try to have wudhu whenever we depart from home. So that when we get into the airplane we already have wudhu. We can pray in our seat in any direction during our flight….inshaAllah…

Just in case we break our wudhu, we may do tayamum… if we can’t find dust [usually no dust on airplane], we still can pray with any condition [even with no wudhu], but according to my experience had national and international flights, it always available water in the toilet.

The same case when we have travel by train and bus. If we are traveling use private car we can stop and pray on the side of road if can’t find masjid along the road.

If only we couldn’t catch the airplane or the bus or the train or reach the destination in late because we perform prayer first…For true a believer it should be more lightly compare than depart from A place but with waswas if they will find chance to pray during the journey or even worse miss the prayer times…

The feeling of missing one single prayer it just can’t be replaceable by anything in this world. The regret and guilty feeling will keep haunted the heart of believers…

Alhamdulillah I ever prayed on the airplane, on the ship, on the bus, on the train, in the airport at non Moslem country, in a port at non Moslem country, etc… People around only watch, some of them did not care, some of them only wondering.. All have to do, just be calm, be normal and give them smiles if they still look at you after finish praying…. It’s good if they ask further, it’s a chance for da’wah for non Moslem. InshaAllah through our actions it’s also a chance of da’wah to encourage our Moslem brothers and sister who feelings shy to show their identity as Moslem which actually that kind of shyness prevent them to do their obligation as Moslems…

Rasulullah sallahu alaihi wassalam said: “If I command you to do a thing, do as much of it as you can.” Narrated by Muslim (1337).

Rasulullah salallahu alahi wassalam even prayed sunnah on his camel…

Subhanallah …this deen is so easy….This deen already completed, there is no room for innovation and creativeness in the matter of ibadah….wallahualam…

“So keep your duty to Allaah and fear Him as much as you can” [al-Taghaabun 64:16].

Lahaula walla quwata illa billah…

To be continue inshaAllah….

Rytha N
Batam 4 September 2007

*Writing make me read*
*Read make me learning new things*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For Advance Reading Please Check the Scholars fatwa bellow

They knew that they would miss the prayer on the plane so they prayed a few minutes before the time for it began

Praying in a moving vehicle

Praying on a plane when one is unable to stand or face the qiblah

How should a passenger on an airplane do wudoo’ if there is no water?

 

~Our Prayers – Part 1~

I arrived in the airport earlier because it would give time to pray fajr before boarding. I went to nearby prayer room in the airport, fajr time was still long. I started reading the Qur’an waited for fajr. Some muslimah came in. They took wudhu, and then prayed…

At first I thought mashaAllah they were praying for sunnah [Qiyamul lail]. But when they left straight away after the pray I started wondering…Did they just pray fajr? What’s time now? I asked a sister next to me… It was about one hour more to fajr time…

After some times, one lady came in, she approached me and asked what time for fajr…I told her the time for fajr is after 15 minutes. She paused for sometimes…. But she saw some other muslimah praying…she started pray fajr too….astaghfirullah…..

In another day…. I had my flight just close to my boarding time…Before depart from the place I stay; I asked my companion if we would find place for pray fajr in airport…. He said… “You just pray now before we leave”… I replied…”It’s still not reach the fajr time”… He said… “Just pray and don’t take risk if we have chance in airport we can pray again “…. Astaghfirullah, May Allah forgives him …..

Alhamdulillah I could pray fajr in airport – in the corner of waiting room.

I believe many of us facing this kind of situations. Not only about the traveling but also the exams, meetings, etc that started earlier than prayer times

Allah subhana wa ta’ala say : “Verily, As-Salaah (the prayer) is enjoined on the believers at fixed hours” [al-Nisa’ 4:103]

It is permissible to offer the prayer at any point within the time for each prayer, whether at the beginning, in the middle or at the end, the best is in the beginning… but prayer earlier before the time, it is “totally” impermissible. If we do it consciously, our pray will not valid and we are also not free from sins. If we do it because we do not know it still not come to prayer time… we should repeat our pray when we realize we did pray not in time… wallahuam.. .

We sometimes make an excuse that It’s better to do it earlier rather than not pray at all, say Allah the most Gracious, Allah is very understanding, He will forgive us….

In fact, doing something only based on good intentions but with no basis it won’t be accepted. Allah already made the rules, through His messenger sallahu alahi wassalam He gives us clear guidances…. So there will be no excuse if we do something outside the guidance… it means we disobey Him and make our own rules……

However Allah never burdens His slaves over than their abilities…

Allah knows best.

To be continue inshaAllah….

Rytha N
Batam 4 September 2007

 

~Expect & respect your Wife jealousy Part 3 ~

Assallammu’alaikum warohmatullahi wabarokatuh

Aishah…My Dear sweetheart…

Thank you dear for clearly explanation to help me understand your feelings.

Dear…… please forgive me for all trouble you felt. I promise inshaAllah will never do anything that trouble you anymore. I will try my best to give you feeling the secure of love without any doubt. There will be no space for syaithan to whisper any waswas to caste any doubt inside your heart. Your happiness will be mine… Only with your pleasure and content we will feel the blessing of this marriage to make us feel the real life of tranquility.

You are my soul partner, the closest person in my life, and true companion who always be the mirror of me… a mirror that will always correct me whenever you find something mistake with me… you will clean my mirror if there is black spot on its surface, because if you ignore those spots you cant see your true reflection clearly yourself, it’s a failure as a spouse when we cant help our spouse to keep in his/her right track.

Dear… I need you always to help me to understand what you think.. What you need… what make you happy… I need you to pull me back if I am going to off the track. Please correct me politely with all your tenderness and wisdom.

There is something that I want to tell you…

You are the first woman that I know closely but my own mother and my little sister. Marriage suddenly make me have to learn about woman… an unique creature… mashaAllah a lot that I have to learn and to explore….

It’s hardly to guess what inside your mind…. you cry when you are sad, you also cry when you are happy…. Sometimes you hardly saying something in a day… but in another day you could talk whole days… mashaAllah…

In your pregnancy time, things go harder to me dear…. Your mood swing often, fluctuations from sweet to the gloomy…

Suddenly you get so much sensitive about anything…. You even look sensitive about your changing body shape. Do you realize how many times a day you go in front of mirror and explore your tummy and ask me many time… how you look like?… I assure you dear… you look great and still gorgeous all the time… I am not lying… pregnancy make you look more fresh and beautiful… your chubby cheek make you look more cute and sweet… Be confident with yourself dear…. Be confident with our bond of love that will be never fade with superficial things.. inshaAllah…

Sometimes you were being so much jealousy… I do assure you that you the only woman in my heart. You fill my days with so much love and care till there is no space remains for other…Your true attention and sincere care help me a lot to keep me strongger from the temptations outside…

Dear….. sometimes I just can’t comprehend why you ask so many times in a day if I love you… How much I love you. It sometimes made me worry if you still doubt with my love? Have I given you with sufficient care and attention?…. I admit sometimes I was so much busy and I might lack of attention, but there is no time that pass but with keep you always in my thoughts…

Dear…. It is a great blessing from Allah to make you be my wife. The most precious treasure, the best joy in my life……. I will inshaAllah try to care this trust to be your qowam…

Honestly, I must feel so bad if I know my dear wife keep talking about the other man. I feel so much humiliate even for slightly thing that touch your honor and chastity. You are treasure to me more than any precious treasure on this earth because you – my virtuous wife is the most precious treasure in this earth that Allah has blessed to me…alhamdulillah.

I feel so much jealous even to see other seeing your beautiful face, alhamdulillah I am very grateful you understand my ghirah and never reveal your beauty but for me…never connect with any non Mahram behind my back…always caring your chastity during my absent…

How could I expect something from my dear when I even can’t give the same from you.

This marriage already bonded our soul to be one. There will be no privacy, no secrete that I want to keep from you. All what my belonging will be yours.… You may company me wherever I go, especially when I have to go out of city that will keep me pure and secure. This is the tradition of our salaf, they always had their wife companion even when they went to jihad.

Dear…. you can manage my bank account, as you are my financial adviser, this is one of responsibility of a righteous wife to care her husband wealth … All my belongings will be yours…..You can read all my books..You may bring my cellular when you visit your parents’ house…..You have all privilege to explore my laptop, open my files, my emails, and do anything you like with them… You may use my messengers and delete anyone that you don’t like to be on my buddy list, you can make sure there will be non mahram sisters listed there if their presents could give a space of syaithan to create doubt in your heart.

I give you all the privilege to get into details of my life. I trust you…. You are my dear wife…. There is nothing that I want to hide from you….. There will be no secret between us…..Nothing that you do not know about me…InshaAllah…

Please tell me if I missed something…

You may tell any request what you like I do…. I must try to approve all what you want …… When a man happy that only happiness for himself…but when a woman happy that mean all people will be happy …I will try my best to keep you happy and content….

I love you sweet heart….You inshaAllah will be my eternal behalf….Please keep shining like the moon for my dark night… Be always as the sun of the days….You are the best joy in the life .. The best gift that Allah bless to me…..

Yours forever
Fiamanillah
Ahmad.

To be continues inshaAllah…..
Batam 7 May 2007
Rytha N

 

~Expect & respect your Wife jealousy Part 2~

My dear husband Ahmad….
Please ignore all what I have written previously dear….

I am not crying because regretting of discontinue relationship with any other non mahram man. I believe that what I should do.

The marriage is not a start for a muslimah to caring their husband feeling. It should start from long time back even before she meets him…… not for the sake of the man that going to be her destined only, but for the sake to please here Rabb… Allah subhana wata’ala….

I am just feeling jealousy dear….

Crying is my only weapon …..
I can’t be like Sa’ad bin Ubada who said if he was to see a man with his wife, he would has struck him with the sword, and not with the flat part (side) of it. [1]

I will not able to strike anyone with sword, Allah knows best, I even do not have courage to say you any words that can hurt your feelings..I am not saying I am afraid of you as there is no one that I should afraid but Allah..I am just trying my best to care your feelings and comfort.

Do you know dear…seeing you in trouble it harder to me than stricken by hundreds swords…. My eyes will hardly taste sleep until you are happy and please. It my weakness as woman that sometimes cant voice what we feel… because doesnt want to cause bitterness in our dear heart…..We tend choose to swallow the bitterness ourselves than create shadow into our dear heart……

Hence I only can cry myself or silent.

Dear..there are a lot of our brothers in Islam who are so nice, witty, famous, wealthy, but they are not my husband, having relationship with them is meant nothing if that cost of hurting your feelings….. I try my best take care you gheerah [protective jealousy], I do not want to upset you even if the offer of friendship from the purest.

I will never betray you when you are present. I will care your honor more when you are absent. There will be no man step in our house when you are away….not from doors of our house…and not from the windows of any instant messengers

Dear, a wonderful sahabiyyah….Asma binti Abu Bakar chose to walk carry on her heavy head the stones of the dates 2 miles away rather than accept the offer of Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam along with group of companion for a ride.[2] She could accept it but She felt shy to go with man and she remembers Zubair – her husband and his gheerah. She decline the offer of Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam

Doesn’t matter the jealously that I feel and how deep you ever hurt me… I will inshaAllah always considering your feeling….. The hardship, won’t be the justification to ignoring your jealousy, your feelings…..

I shall always be faithful to you since the holy bond has joined us. Such a relation would not have existed but for your faith and religious commitment and your accepting to marry me. Caring your feeling is so sacred and things that I don’t like to speculate….

I am just really feeling jealousy dear….

Please don’t worry dear….
I don’t hate you, I don’t angry to you , I don’t have any bad feeling about you, I don’t suspect you are committing something sin. Na’uzubillah. This is just the feeling of jealousy; Pure jealousy to my dear husband that I love dearly

Do you feel strange with my jealousy honey?

When Allah’s Messenger Sallahu alahi wassalam heard about Sa’ad’s jealousy to his wife with other man, Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam said: Are you surprised at Sa’d’s jealousy of his honour? By Allah, I am more jealous of my honor than he, and Allah is more jealous than I. [3]

Al-Tabari and other scholars said: Jealousy on the part of women is to be overlooked and they are not to be punished for it because it is part of their nature.[4]

Some centuries ago there was a lady that more pious, smarter, prettier than your wife. She has same name like me. She is our mother ummul mu’minin Aishah Radiyallahu anhu…..She experienced the same like what I am feeling right now….

This jealousy doesn’t always mean I don’t trust and believe in you, I do trust and believe in your whole my heart. Our bond of love has been framed by sacred the marriage. Our true commitment in front of Allah…But Jealousy is just something different. It’s a nature dear; the ingredient of love….It is the sign of love itself. No woman is free from, so long as she does not overstep the mark and do or say anything that Allaah has forbidden, Allah forgive her…wallahualam….

Which man that more noble, pure and trustworthy than Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam? He sallahu alahi wassalam is a perfect husband. Nobody doubts how Ummul mu’minin Aishah trust him dearly……..

Once ummul mu’minin said never felt so jealous of any woman as I did of Khadija, though she had died three years before the Prophet married me, and that was because I heard him mentioning her too often, and because his Lord had ordered him to give her the glad tidings that she would have a palace in Paradise, made of Qasab and because he used to slaughter a sheep and distribute its meat among her friends. [5] It is as if there had never been any other woman in the world except Khadijah.”

Ummul mu’minin Aishah jealous to her husband’s co wife khadijah, even if she never met khadijah, Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam always mention her.

What about a wife should feel if her husband mentioning about the other woman who not halal for him often? I believe they have right to feel more jealous….

I hope you understand my feelings dear….
I would rather you do not mention about your ex- fiancé often. Please don’t remind me if you did love her a lot now and then…. I have understood it. But it’s hard to comprehend that right now I am the only one in your heart if you keep mentioning her name or any other woman.

If woman is not allowed describing about the other woman in front of her husband because it would be fitnah for her husband, I believe a husband also shouldn’t describe about the other woman in front of his wife because it could cause the evils easily whispering bad things and cause jealousy into his wife’s heart….

In Rasulullah salallahu alahi wassalam’s polygamies marriage… jealousy among his wives is a halal competition to reach Rasulullah attention, to get more his love.

It’s very strange and really inappropriate if a wife should be in struggle to reach her husband attention with other non mahram woman who even do not halal for her husband. A good husband will not put his wife in such low condition…. She shouldn’t in competition with these women…. A competition only fair if they have the same status and class… A Wife and non mahram woman, they are exactly different…..A wife should already be the only winner in her husband’s heart since the ijab and the qabul being pronounced in the aqad of marriage.

Dear …I have a lot more to write ….but I already feeling pain on my back…I need to lie down…InshaAllah I will write to you more latter….

Please forgive me if I am saying something wrong … I am sincerely do not have any intention to hurt you…

May Allah forgive me if my jealousy cause so much trouble in your in these days… May Allah keep the bond of our love stronger….

With so much love

Fiamanillah
Your wife
Aishah

To be continues inshaAllah…..
Batam 7 May 2007
Rytha N

[1] HR Muslim Book 009, Number 3572
[2] HR Muslim Book 026, Number 5417
[3] HR Muslim Book 026, Number 5417
[4] Al-Adaab al-Shar’iyyah, 1/248
[5] HR Bukhari Volume 8, Book 73, Number 33:

 

~Expect & respect your Wife jealousy Part 1~

Assallammu’alaikum warohmatullahi wabarokatuh

My dearest husband Ahmad….

I am sorry to make you worry for my silent in these days…. I know my silent make you worry and wondering what happening with me… Please don’t worry dear…. I just need time to think…..

After thinking in these few days I now completely understand why you keep your relationship with some sisters after our marriage. You must have bored that I hint you to discuss about this topic for some times…

I understand now, your relationship with these sisters mean nothing. Just like you have told me so many times that they are nothing, I am the only one in your heart and I don’t need to feel jealousy. Your love to me just can’t compare to them…. Your relationship with them is just merely as brother and sister. I shouldn’t suspect anything bad. They keep in touch with you just for your advice and assistance because you are their learned and wise brother in Islam. You are their good wise, hardly to lost a good advisor like you….

Well, you know very much that I trust you and never think bad about whatever your do.

Dear….I completely understands now why you still keep your ex-fiancé name in your buddy list and why you keep answer or email her sometimes. I know my pious husband must only just try to keep the silaturrahim and maintain a good relationship with his sister in Islam and her family….

MashaAllah she really has very beautiful unique name, it’s silly I felt jealousy when you gave her name for your little sister. I feel stupid why I just realize although I have seen her name so many times on your mailbox and on your messenger list.

However she is learned muslimah…mashaAllah… she has some links with respectable sheikh from outstanding institution. She must have so many literatures to share, a very smart sister who have huge knowledge….That must give so many advantage to keep maintain relationship with her just in case you need her help in future….She must be very good buddy to discus and help you to solve some difficult Islamic fiqih matter…..

By the way…. I also understand why you told me many times that you loved her truly. However she was almost being your wife. I should understand that must be truly difficult to forget. Well we hardly to forget good people, especially that person ever been part of our life.

I shouldn’t complain anything…..the otherwise I should be very grateful my husband trust me and share me his deepest feelings. I understand dear…it’s so difficult when we really love someone but then things go to other direction…. It’s qadarullah honey…….

Therefore….

It makes me think… I am very bad muslimah, a very bad sister in Islam. I have hurt so many brothers. I have been refusing so many brothers who try to make relationship with me. You know dear… they are actually very sincere brothers…. Most of them were very nice; they interest to study about Islam more mashaAllah. I even said to my male friends that I would never talk with them anymore, especially through messenger.

Some of them were very sad …. They said I am their good advisor, they begged me to keep talk to them just purely as brother and sister in Islam and having innocent talk now and then…. Some of them so much adore me…. Please don’t mistaken dear, they just adore of my good quality as friends, as sister….

I think now…. I have to contact each of them … and welcome them again…. I know you will not think bad, you know me.. and you trust me I must just talk with them for the sake of brotherhood and dakwah… Well we trust each other so much… right honey?

I can only talk with them when you are working outside…. So that I still can give my fully attention for you when you are at home, I will not talk with them when you at home. You sometimes work so hard and spend a lot of time outside dear…. So I guess I have to do something benefit to fill my time, to do da’wah for these brothers while waiting you back home from work…….

Anyway dear…. … we only talk in messenger.. They can’t see my face…. I knew one brother, he was so witty. He used to throw some jokes… Actually I enjoy talking with him [just as friend honey], previously we only just friend and I will assure you it will remain like that…Please don’t worry honey… He can’t see if I smiles sweetly for him, he only just see bold yellow smiley icon on messenger… I swear that you the only one who can see my sweet smiles….

By the way dear… Do you remember about my ex- fiancé? You do love his name, right? You even remember his name completely …. Isn’t it a very good idea if I am going to give my ex fiancé name for our baby… mashaAllah ..

InshaAllah we are going to have baby boy after one month but we still haven’t found good name for him….God bless me… why this brilliant idea just come up now……How could I didn’t realize he has very good name. I just made some research on Google…. It has very beautiful meaning dear…. You must love it dear..…

I can imagine we call our baby with his name everyday….. That will make me remember him at anytime I see my son…Well it’s not something wrong to keep remembering good people…right dear? Please don’t bother about it… you do know very well that you the only one in my heart……

Right now… I am crying to think how cruel I am… Maybe this is the biggest mistake cut all my communiqué with him… You know how cruel I am.. I never answered his calls…I never replied his text messages……I ignored all his emails….I even stopped to talk with anyone who related to him……How could I do that….. He is not bad man actually, he is a hafidz, and he used to study in Islamic university. Astaghfirullah I don’t know why I could be that cruel….

I think he just wants to keep friendship with me as brother and sister in Islam…It absolutely nothing wrong to keep maintain the brotherhood even if the engagement was called off…..

Anyway… I will apologize to him for my childish behavior …. Actually I never hate my brother in Islam… but I thought it what I should do as muslimah to guard the ghirah of my future husband…. Well I understand now… it not actually like that… it doesn’t matter anymore as our marriage based on so much trust and understanding….

It sounds very good idea if I keep following his life now… Silly me.. I even don’t know anything about him now…I don’t know if he married or not, happy or not…. I don’t know if his parents still remember me, what they think about me now……. Strange I don’t know about him in fact we ever almost married before….He and his family must miss to hear about me a lot…. Maybe I have to call them sometimes…. Mmmm maybe at least I should call them on EID day….

You know dear I just realize how important we have link with learn people…. He also has many connections with some religious people, he knows some sheikh personally [well he was an Islamic student]…. You know how much I thirst of knowledge and want always learn a lot. I can ask him some questions when you are so busy to answer my questions… He will be so much helpfull.

He also from high status family, with so many respectable colleagues, and well known politician family, must know many famous people too… Even I read in newspaper his uncle just won the election….mashaAllah Isn’t that great dear?……He maybe can help us much in the future… Well we don’t know what kind help that we need… So for now I have to keep sweet when talk with him [of course strictly in the Islamic manner] . I will show my regret how I have ignored him this long….

Better I am in hurry now to reconciling with all these broken relationships…..

Thanks dear for make me think and help me to get back my awareness…. …….
Don’t worry dear… I will make you know all of them…well you let me know all your females friends… I also will do the same… We do understanding and trust each other so much…

Take care honey ….

With much of love
fiamanillah
Your Wife
Aishah…..

PS:
I am just kidding honey…
I am just trying to put you in my shoes….so you can feel what I feel clearly
Can you understand my feeling now dear?

To be Continue InshaAllah …….

Batam 7 May 2007
Rytha N