~Expect & respect your Wife jealousy Part 2~

My dear husband Ahmad….
Please ignore all what I have written previously dear….

I am not crying because regretting of discontinue relationship with any other non mahram man. I believe that what I should do.

The marriage is not a start for a muslimah to caring their husband feeling. It should start from long time back even before she meets him…… not for the sake of the man that going to be her destined only, but for the sake to please here Rabb… Allah subhana wata’ala….

I am just feeling jealousy dear….

Crying is my only weapon …..
I can’t be like Sa’ad bin Ubada who said if he was to see a man with his wife, he would has struck him with the sword, and not with the flat part (side) of it. [1]

I will not able to strike anyone with sword, Allah knows best, I even do not have courage to say you any words that can hurt your feelings..I am not saying I am afraid of you as there is no one that I should afraid but Allah..I am just trying my best to care your feelings and comfort.

Do you know dear…seeing you in trouble it harder to me than stricken by hundreds swords…. My eyes will hardly taste sleep until you are happy and please. It my weakness as woman that sometimes cant voice what we feel… because doesnt want to cause bitterness in our dear heart…..We tend choose to swallow the bitterness ourselves than create shadow into our dear heart……

Hence I only can cry myself or silent.

Dear..there are a lot of our brothers in Islam who are so nice, witty, famous, wealthy, but they are not my husband, having relationship with them is meant nothing if that cost of hurting your feelings….. I try my best take care you gheerah [protective jealousy], I do not want to upset you even if the offer of friendship from the purest.

I will never betray you when you are present. I will care your honor more when you are absent. There will be no man step in our house when you are away….not from doors of our house…and not from the windows of any instant messengers

Dear, a wonderful sahabiyyah….Asma binti Abu Bakar chose to walk carry on her heavy head the stones of the dates 2 miles away rather than accept the offer of Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam along with group of companion for a ride.[2] She could accept it but She felt shy to go with man and she remembers Zubair – her husband and his gheerah. She decline the offer of Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam

Doesn’t matter the jealously that I feel and how deep you ever hurt me… I will inshaAllah always considering your feeling….. The hardship, won’t be the justification to ignoring your jealousy, your feelings…..

I shall always be faithful to you since the holy bond has joined us. Such a relation would not have existed but for your faith and religious commitment and your accepting to marry me. Caring your feeling is so sacred and things that I don’t like to speculate….

I am just really feeling jealousy dear….

Please don’t worry dear….
I don’t hate you, I don’t angry to you , I don’t have any bad feeling about you, I don’t suspect you are committing something sin. Na’uzubillah. This is just the feeling of jealousy; Pure jealousy to my dear husband that I love dearly

Do you feel strange with my jealousy honey?

When Allah’s Messenger Sallahu alahi wassalam heard about Sa’ad’s jealousy to his wife with other man, Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam said: Are you surprised at Sa’d’s jealousy of his honour? By Allah, I am more jealous of my honor than he, and Allah is more jealous than I. [3]

Al-Tabari and other scholars said: Jealousy on the part of women is to be overlooked and they are not to be punished for it because it is part of their nature.[4]

Some centuries ago there was a lady that more pious, smarter, prettier than your wife. She has same name like me. She is our mother ummul mu’minin Aishah Radiyallahu anhu…..She experienced the same like what I am feeling right now….

This jealousy doesn’t always mean I don’t trust and believe in you, I do trust and believe in your whole my heart. Our bond of love has been framed by sacred the marriage. Our true commitment in front of Allah…But Jealousy is just something different. It’s a nature dear; the ingredient of love….It is the sign of love itself. No woman is free from, so long as she does not overstep the mark and do or say anything that Allaah has forbidden, Allah forgive her…wallahualam….

Which man that more noble, pure and trustworthy than Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam? He sallahu alahi wassalam is a perfect husband. Nobody doubts how Ummul mu’minin Aishah trust him dearly……..

Once ummul mu’minin said never felt so jealous of any woman as I did of Khadija, though she had died three years before the Prophet married me, and that was because I heard him mentioning her too often, and because his Lord had ordered him to give her the glad tidings that she would have a palace in Paradise, made of Qasab and because he used to slaughter a sheep and distribute its meat among her friends. [5] It is as if there had never been any other woman in the world except Khadijah.”

Ummul mu’minin Aishah jealous to her husband’s co wife khadijah, even if she never met khadijah, Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam always mention her.

What about a wife should feel if her husband mentioning about the other woman who not halal for him often? I believe they have right to feel more jealous….

I hope you understand my feelings dear….
I would rather you do not mention about your ex- fiancé often. Please don’t remind me if you did love her a lot now and then…. I have understood it. But it’s hard to comprehend that right now I am the only one in your heart if you keep mentioning her name or any other woman.

If woman is not allowed describing about the other woman in front of her husband because it would be fitnah for her husband, I believe a husband also shouldn’t describe about the other woman in front of his wife because it could cause the evils easily whispering bad things and cause jealousy into his wife’s heart….

In Rasulullah salallahu alahi wassalam’s polygamies marriage… jealousy among his wives is a halal competition to reach Rasulullah attention, to get more his love.

It’s very strange and really inappropriate if a wife should be in struggle to reach her husband attention with other non mahram woman who even do not halal for her husband. A good husband will not put his wife in such low condition…. She shouldn’t in competition with these women…. A competition only fair if they have the same status and class… A Wife and non mahram woman, they are exactly different…..A wife should already be the only winner in her husband’s heart since the ijab and the qabul being pronounced in the aqad of marriage.

Dear …I have a lot more to write ….but I already feeling pain on my back…I need to lie down…InshaAllah I will write to you more latter….

Please forgive me if I am saying something wrong … I am sincerely do not have any intention to hurt you…

May Allah forgive me if my jealousy cause so much trouble in your in these days… May Allah keep the bond of our love stronger….

With so much love

Fiamanillah
Your wife
Aishah

To be continues inshaAllah…..
Batam 7 May 2007
Rytha N

[1] HR Muslim Book 009, Number 3572
[2] HR Muslim Book 026, Number 5417
[3] HR Muslim Book 026, Number 5417
[4] Al-Adaab al-Shar’iyyah, 1/248
[5] HR Bukhari Volume 8, Book 73, Number 33:

 

~Expect & respect your Wife jealousy Part 1~

Assallammu’alaikum warohmatullahi wabarokatuh

My dearest husband Ahmad….

I am sorry to make you worry for my silent in these days…. I know my silent make you worry and wondering what happening with me… Please don’t worry dear…. I just need time to think…..

After thinking in these few days I now completely understand why you keep your relationship with some sisters after our marriage. You must have bored that I hint you to discuss about this topic for some times…

I understand now, your relationship with these sisters mean nothing. Just like you have told me so many times that they are nothing, I am the only one in your heart and I don’t need to feel jealousy. Your love to me just can’t compare to them…. Your relationship with them is just merely as brother and sister. I shouldn’t suspect anything bad. They keep in touch with you just for your advice and assistance because you are their learned and wise brother in Islam. You are their good wise, hardly to lost a good advisor like you….

Well, you know very much that I trust you and never think bad about whatever your do.

Dear….I completely understands now why you still keep your ex-fiancé name in your buddy list and why you keep answer or email her sometimes. I know my pious husband must only just try to keep the silaturrahim and maintain a good relationship with his sister in Islam and her family….

MashaAllah she really has very beautiful unique name, it’s silly I felt jealousy when you gave her name for your little sister. I feel stupid why I just realize although I have seen her name so many times on your mailbox and on your messenger list.

However she is learned muslimah…mashaAllah… she has some links with respectable sheikh from outstanding institution. She must have so many literatures to share, a very smart sister who have huge knowledge….That must give so many advantage to keep maintain relationship with her just in case you need her help in future….She must be very good buddy to discus and help you to solve some difficult Islamic fiqih matter…..

By the way…. I also understand why you told me many times that you loved her truly. However she was almost being your wife. I should understand that must be truly difficult to forget. Well we hardly to forget good people, especially that person ever been part of our life.

I shouldn’t complain anything…..the otherwise I should be very grateful my husband trust me and share me his deepest feelings. I understand dear…it’s so difficult when we really love someone but then things go to other direction…. It’s qadarullah honey…….

Therefore….

It makes me think… I am very bad muslimah, a very bad sister in Islam. I have hurt so many brothers. I have been refusing so many brothers who try to make relationship with me. You know dear… they are actually very sincere brothers…. Most of them were very nice; they interest to study about Islam more mashaAllah. I even said to my male friends that I would never talk with them anymore, especially through messenger.

Some of them were very sad …. They said I am their good advisor, they begged me to keep talk to them just purely as brother and sister in Islam and having innocent talk now and then…. Some of them so much adore me…. Please don’t mistaken dear, they just adore of my good quality as friends, as sister….

I think now…. I have to contact each of them … and welcome them again…. I know you will not think bad, you know me.. and you trust me I must just talk with them for the sake of brotherhood and dakwah… Well we trust each other so much… right honey?

I can only talk with them when you are working outside…. So that I still can give my fully attention for you when you are at home, I will not talk with them when you at home. You sometimes work so hard and spend a lot of time outside dear…. So I guess I have to do something benefit to fill my time, to do da’wah for these brothers while waiting you back home from work…….

Anyway dear…. … we only talk in messenger.. They can’t see my face…. I knew one brother, he was so witty. He used to throw some jokes… Actually I enjoy talking with him [just as friend honey], previously we only just friend and I will assure you it will remain like that…Please don’t worry honey… He can’t see if I smiles sweetly for him, he only just see bold yellow smiley icon on messenger… I swear that you the only one who can see my sweet smiles….

By the way dear… Do you remember about my ex- fiancé? You do love his name, right? You even remember his name completely …. Isn’t it a very good idea if I am going to give my ex fiancé name for our baby… mashaAllah ..

InshaAllah we are going to have baby boy after one month but we still haven’t found good name for him….God bless me… why this brilliant idea just come up now……How could I didn’t realize he has very good name. I just made some research on Google…. It has very beautiful meaning dear…. You must love it dear..…

I can imagine we call our baby with his name everyday….. That will make me remember him at anytime I see my son…Well it’s not something wrong to keep remembering good people…right dear? Please don’t bother about it… you do know very well that you the only one in my heart……

Right now… I am crying to think how cruel I am… Maybe this is the biggest mistake cut all my communiqué with him… You know how cruel I am.. I never answered his calls…I never replied his text messages……I ignored all his emails….I even stopped to talk with anyone who related to him……How could I do that….. He is not bad man actually, he is a hafidz, and he used to study in Islamic university. Astaghfirullah I don’t know why I could be that cruel….

I think he just wants to keep friendship with me as brother and sister in Islam…It absolutely nothing wrong to keep maintain the brotherhood even if the engagement was called off…..

Anyway… I will apologize to him for my childish behavior …. Actually I never hate my brother in Islam… but I thought it what I should do as muslimah to guard the ghirah of my future husband…. Well I understand now… it not actually like that… it doesn’t matter anymore as our marriage based on so much trust and understanding….

It sounds very good idea if I keep following his life now… Silly me.. I even don’t know anything about him now…I don’t know if he married or not, happy or not…. I don’t know if his parents still remember me, what they think about me now……. Strange I don’t know about him in fact we ever almost married before….He and his family must miss to hear about me a lot…. Maybe I have to call them sometimes…. Mmmm maybe at least I should call them on EID day….

You know dear I just realize how important we have link with learn people…. He also has many connections with some religious people, he knows some sheikh personally [well he was an Islamic student]…. You know how much I thirst of knowledge and want always learn a lot. I can ask him some questions when you are so busy to answer my questions… He will be so much helpfull.

He also from high status family, with so many respectable colleagues, and well known politician family, must know many famous people too… Even I read in newspaper his uncle just won the election….mashaAllah Isn’t that great dear?……He maybe can help us much in the future… Well we don’t know what kind help that we need… So for now I have to keep sweet when talk with him [of course strictly in the Islamic manner] . I will show my regret how I have ignored him this long….

Better I am in hurry now to reconciling with all these broken relationships…..

Thanks dear for make me think and help me to get back my awareness…. …….
Don’t worry dear… I will make you know all of them…well you let me know all your females friends… I also will do the same… We do understanding and trust each other so much…

Take care honey ….

With much of love
fiamanillah
Your Wife
Aishah…..

PS:
I am just kidding honey…
I am just trying to put you in my shoes….so you can feel what I feel clearly
Can you understand my feeling now dear?

To be Continue InshaAllah …….

Batam 7 May 2007
Rytha N

 

~For all My Dear brothers and My Dear sisters part 2~

Part I I

My dear sisters….
Allah gifts a lot of special blessings…
Allah trusts you to carry “rahim” [womb]…
That makes your nature different…
Makes you full of affection,
Your touch is tenderness,
You smile is sweetness..
You are an amazing beautiful creation
You are a charming creation
Your graceful movement
Your “killing” smiles

You are beautiful
Always beautiful
You are sweet
Always sweet
You are unique…
With your own way…
You are always special…
You are attractive no matter how you look like’

But

You are a real temptation for your fellow brothers….
You will be
You will always be ….
Like it or dislike it
Even if you never intend to
Even if you never plan to
They will fall on your laps…

My dear sisters….
I know some of you are very strict [in real]
I know you are trying always to be a real muslimah
Who love Qur’an wa sunnah
But easy to get carry away [on net]

My dear sincere sisters….
Please think over this

Would you mix and talk that free with all those guys in person?
Would you crack those “Islamic jokes” with those guys in person?
Remember of those *LOLs*….*awwwww*……”wwoooowww”….
Would you do really express that way if you met those guys in person?

Would you feel comfortable spending so much time with these guys in person?
Are you comfortable….?
Extremely comfortable…..?
VERY comfortable…….?

My dear sisters…..
Will a good brother waste their time just for talk?
Will a good brother share you every single thing?

Do you like if your husband shares their secret with another woman?
Do you like if your husband shares their joke with another woman?

My dear sisters
Don’t flower your mind to think you are the only woman he talks with
You probably one in hundreds….
Don’t feel as someone special
You the one who make yourself special
Don’t nurture those feelings…
They may sweet but for nothing….
They act same with hundreds of his female buddies…

Perhaps
They just try to be polite…
They just try to be nice…
They just try to be gentle….
They just try to help
They just try to care your feelings…
They just do not want to hurt you…
They just try to convey messages…

Perhaps
They wish you could understand yourself
They wish you could away without they say things…
They wish soon you would know your limit
They wish you soon gain your consciousness
They wish you know when you should stop yourself…

My Dear sisters…
They may say they NEVER talk with woman [AT ALL]…
You surprise
You do feel so special
You feel be the Only ONE
You feel so lucky on earth…

Please …….Be smart!!!

Is he from Mars?
Is he living outer space… is he an alien… ?
Is living in the middle of no where…?
Didn’t he ever go outside…?

Ok perhaps He does Never…..

But

Perhaps He is not sociable person
Perhaps He is an awkward person
Perhaps He has problem in interpersonal skill…
Perhaps He indifferent with his fellow sisters…
Perhaps He not a sensitive person
Perhaps He perhaps type of man who will run away even if saw his fellow sister being abuse…
Perhaps He perhaps type of man who will avoid passing his fellow sisters who need help…

Or

He is a big big liar……!!!

Be rational

Don’t make your feelings overwhelm you
Don’t make your feelings dominate your rationality,…

Oh My dear sisters..
I don’t mean to destroy you romantic dream about him…
I don’t mean to tarnish your sweet perception about him…..
I might be wrong…
Perhaps he is indeed not one what I have been listed above,…
But you have to know
The probability could be 1 in billions

My dear sweet sisters,…
Please open your heart
Please open your eyes…
Those rarest pearls …really rare breed….
They will not appear in every places…

If they have good intention over you
If they are really a real mu’min
They will know the rules…
They will know the way…
They will be a responsible person
They will not abuse their faith by justification their action
They will not play with a sacred sunnah
Just to take chance to talk with you in person…

My dear sisters…
A real pearl doesn’t need light to make it shining
A sun doesn’t need heater to make it warm
Oceans do not need salt to make it salty…
They are shining themselves…
The light… the salt … already be part of them…
They will keep shining even if buried in the deepest oncean
They are precious without advertisement,…
That also….. a real mu’min…
A wa’ra…tawadhu… mu’min
Will not use their quality just for the sake to make you fall on his laps…
They perhaps did same way to crush other heart…

My Dear sisters…
There are many who love to talk
But they do not really understand what they talk
There are many who will offer you proposal
But they actually do not understand what it is
They do not have idea how sacred it is
Go challenge them with real actions
Go challenge them to be real gentlemen
You will know for real…

Do they say they never have girl friends…
It doesn’t mean they know the religion
That could be they do not have chance due the culture restriction….

My Dear sisters….
You may say you are confidence
You may say you know the limit
You may say you will always try to be stern
You may say you are a strong person
You may say you will lead the flow

But my dear…
For how long?

My Dear sisters
It’s not only about you
But you deal with other heart
With other mind
Their heart, their mind …. out of your control
You perhaps could confidence about your strength
But you never able to control their strength
You never able to set what they should feel about you
You cant stop them to in love with you…
You cant tell them please do not think about you…
You cant ask them please stop adore you…

My dear sisters…
You never know what inside their brain…
If only they could accept your smile just same as those bold yellow icon…

My Dear sisters….
Please help those fellow brothers….
You not only responsible to care your own soul
But also …please do not put yourself as a temptation
You should not make yourself become a disease in one’s heart
You couldn’t say you never intend to…
You couldn’t say that not your fault…

Please be honest…

My Dear sisters….
The number of man who get crush on you ..
It not always reflects how good you are…
That not something nice to boast proudly…
It perhaps shows…. something wrong in you…
That could be a sign of your near failure
That could be a real destruction…

My Dear sisters…
You heart by nature so soft..

My Dear sisters….
See….those massive hard stones….
If it was fallen by just “a drop water” continuously
It would leave “a big hole”
Lets alone your tender heart…it would be “a huge” hole….

You never know when your iman down…
You never know when you are weak
But syaitan will be there patiently waiting your failure…

A small sin will create a black spot in your white heart
Finally it will turn become black
It will make your heart death
You will never able to find the way back….

Prevention always better than curing…
Better to away from trap in complication…

You may say that you only talk with good ones…
Remember good brother will be temptation for good sister
You will be temptation for good brother…

My dear sisters….
At times you start any relationship
Please take a thought
Where things would lead you
A real Moslem will never do something without a clear intention…
Allah will count your intention….
A real Moslem should know what will be the destination
Will you be his chat email friend forever….?
Share things forever?
Tell every single thing forever?
He knows what you do from 4 am to 4 pm…?
He knows what you do from Sunday to Sunday… ?

My dear sisters
The more you involve
The more your close
The more you will not able to leave
The more you will not able to stop

You heart so soft..
You are so nice
You will think thousand things
You afraid to offend him
You afraid make him cry
You afraid destroy his life
You afraid he commits suicide
You afraid he will go astray
You think he will not able live without you…

The syaithan will be happy…
They will clap their hands
If their legs could clap… They would clap too
New victims come to the circle…

You flower your minds
With all those sentimental feelings…
You will suffer and suffer not able run from the circle…
Dear Trust me…. They will not do that
If they do….. that irrefutable prove…. how stupid he is…
Do you want to end up you life with a stupid one?

My Dear sisters…
The constant interaction…
Will lead you in confusion
not able to compare between pity…sympathy… and love…

My Dear young sisters
Sometimes you just try to be polite…
You try to care a good manner…
But response not always what you hope…
You are in global villages
You should learn the global languages…
You should understand the global gesture…
You should able to deal with so many heads

If you have tried your best
If you have done your duty
You should find the way for safe your faith
You do not have any responsibility anymore
You have done what you should do
You are not cruel…
The otherwise you save his soul sooner

My Dear sisters….
Remember Allah watch over you…
Allah know even the deepest of you heart
You know the best who are you
You know the best what your doing
You know the best your capacity

You do really discuss your deen?
You do sincerely to invite people to your deen ?

But

Why you busy keep on till the late of night
Where is time for talk with your Lord
How you lost your precious private time with Lord
If you sleep 3 am 2 am… 4 am… where you would sleep
How you lost the precious the last 1/3rd night
When Allah comes closer to you
When you build inside strong spiritually

My Dear sisters…
Do you know What Google, AltaVista, yahoo, for?
Do you know thousands Islamic website available?
Do you know thousands Islamic Scholar available?
Please, you do use them maximally …
Before jump talking to any man, even if in the pretext of learning…
You do have a bunch of females’ buddies…
Please, go to them to share and study…
You do not worry if you act like a stupid…
You may express yourself freely…
You can be a sweet as you like

My Dear sisters…
May Allah make you be great wife like Khadijah bin khwalid ra
May Allah help you to be a great mother like Fatimah binti Muhammad…
May Allah make you be great scholar like Aisyah binti Abu Bakar ra
May Allah make you practice a great patience like Ashiah ra
May Allah help you to observe ghirah
and take care your husband heart like Asma binti abu Bakar
May Allah help you to as smart as Queen Balqis
as wise as Ummu Sulaim …
InshaAllah you are as beautiful as Attikah who companied all her husband as a syuhada…

Wallahualam bishshowab…..

Oh my Dear Lord…
You know very best what lies inside my heart,
You know best how sinner this soul…
You know best what hidden ….what conceal,

My Dear Lord
Please save me first from all the hypocrisy

My Dear Lord
Give me the tawfiq to follow what I have said

My Dear Lord,…
Give me from the blaze of your hell flame…

Astaghfirullah wa atubu ilaika
Astaghfirullah wa atubu ilaika
Astaghfirullah wa atubu ilaika

Alhamdulillahirrobbil alamin
Alhamdulillahirrobbil alamin
Alhamdulillahirrobbil alamin

Subhanakallahumma wabihamdika ashadu ala ilaha illa anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilaika
Subhanakallahumma wabihamdika ashadu ala ilaha illa anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilaika
Subhanakallahumma wabihamdika ashadu ala ilaha illa anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilaika

Rytha
Bandung, 12 May 2005

 

~For all My Dear brothers and My Dear sisters part 1~

This is an old wrting…. I thought good to share…

Dear Akhwat wa Ikhwah fillah

Assallammu’alaikum warohmatullahi wabarokatuh….

I have restrained myself to not write about this topic personally. But this matter has been killing my heart and my souls many times…… astaghfirullah… I was angry a lot of time [especially with myself] due of my disability to convey the messages. But how could I say I love you for the sake of Allah if I don’t able to convey the truth…

Please consider them as my sincere effort to do my responsibility and to fulfill your right in the process doing amar ma’ruf nahi munkar…

Fiamanillah
Rytha
Bandung, 12 May 2005

Something which basically is permissible… but if the user are not responsible people…..it could lead to much destruction…

I might write so many mistake… those mistake from my shallowness…. please forgive ..

But all the truth from Allah …

The first part is for brothers…the second part is for sisters….

Part I

“My dear brother”
Who are you in your real life
What are in your real life…

You may say you are a real modest man,
Who care your gaze,
You may say you are a real gentleman
With beard…

People may say you are a real cool mu’min
People may say you are a real practicing man
People may say you are like scholar man
People may say you are respectable man
People may say they adore you as a real gentleman…

Be like that also on the net

If declared you never talk with woman in your real life..
Please don’t justify your interaction on the net

Al least
Please be consistent with what your belief…

Saying never talked with non maharam even more than 1 minute
But turn become a real chatter box
Spending hours chat with non mahram
Sharing every single detail
Comment every single thing

Please don’t be too sweet
Act as if a charming prince
Leaving poison into many hearts
Playing with other emotion

Please keep your charm to your wife [to be]
Please keep your jokes for your wife [to be]

Some of you were very knowledgeable people
A Da’wah worker
Respectable people

Brothers
Remember Allah knows best what lies inside your heart’
Allah knows of the tricks that deceive with the eyes,
Allah knows all that the hearts (of men) conceal.

Don’t abuse the Qur’an wa Sunnah
Don’t use them to product fatwa to support your lust
Don’t use them to justify your actions

You do feel comfort because you shouldn’t face her
You feel comfort because she doesn’t see you
You think there is massive wall between you and her

There is distance between you and her
Have you found any scholars make a new definition of hijab?

Brothers
The adultery of the eyes is the sight,
The adultery of the tongue is the talk,
The adultery of heart is imagination
The private parts testify all this or deny it

Be honest…..
What hijab you put between your hearts?
What hijab you put to control your mind?
You know best what lays both inside….

Is that just a simple screen?…
Is that just text?….

Don’t you know
You are talking with a real human being…
They are a real human being with heart,
They were created with bones…. flesh….blood
They have right to be respected
They have right to be treated like human being
They are not toys to play with
To filling your spare time
To be part of your adventure
To kill your loneliness…
To be part of your experience…
To be part of your wild inspiration…

Brothers…
Marriage is a scared things..
Please don’t use that “magic” word to trap sincere sister…
Please don’t use that “magic” word to ask their pictures…
Please don’t use that “magic” word to justify your interactions…
In pretext of getting to know each other….

Do you know what mean of that word?
Do you understand what is responsibility?
Do you comprehend every action lead to the consequences ?

Most of time you do not understand the consequences…
You do not know even how to move your fingers…
You will make your heart dirty..
You will make your life complicated…
Never start thing that you never able to responsible…
Never start thing if you do not know what the follow up…
Please act as a real gentleman…
Please do learn how to do the right process…

You do know how to fall in love
But do not know what you should do with that love

Life already hard
Don’t play with the fire
Don’t play with things that out of your control…

Brothers..
Please
Go learn the Qur’an
Go read the tafsir
Go read the sunnah
Go read the syarah
Go read the syirah…

But please do not use the religion to fit your desire…

Brothers…
You were born and raised with some values
Don’t make “internet” as a facility to break those values…

Be consistent…. Be consistent…

Some of you belong to family/culture detest girl talk with man
You even will not tolerant if you find your young sister talk with guy on net
You forbid your woman to talk with man.

Since you were born
You have created what is a perfect girl in your mind
One who never talk with man…
The pure one….
The innocent ….
The untouchable…
With the virgin heart….

But

That really inconsistent…. if
Your actions created impurity to other heart
Your sweet words destroy innocents’ heart
You fill so many hopes inside one’s heart….

Then you abandon her

You spent time with someone that you do not want to end up
You know at the first place not fit with your type
They do not fit you value
You spend hours being close but you consider them just nothing

You think
You can go and come anytime in your idle times
No need think about responsibility
You may escape anytime
You may run anytime
You are unreachable…
You are untouchable…
You are safe….

You may just simple start you life with new one
Another sweet innocent that had been set up

Don’t you know..
You might broke one innocent heart
That heart might bleeding for the rest of her life

Sleep tightly
Enjoy your life
Beside your beauty wife
But remember you will meet your lord in hereafter
You will meet her in hereafter drag you to the flame of hell fire…

Brothers
Some of you are married…
Tease and play around with young girl
Are you searching inspiration?
Do you need to refresh your old soul with the spirit of young?

Saying never loves your wife….
Saying never feels any happiness from the day one
Wondering….. How you made she pregnant…

You are man with a lot experience
You know all the tricks
You know how to grasp their heart
You how tame those pure gems

What actually you want?
What do you want from them?
Don’t you know the consequences what you do?
Don’t you think about your wife?
Don’t you think how she feel if she finds you chat around, tease around with girl?

Please go look yourself in front of mirror
See those gray hairs
Remember your doom
See your young daughter
Look at your dear young blood sisters
Do you like if man treats them like the way you treat these young sisters?

Brothers
Can’t you see a woman just like a simple sister?
As simple young sister
As simple young daughter
who need your advice
who need your protection
who need simple respect

Act as an uncle
Act like as big brother
Act like their father…
Please do not chase to them always
To be your forth wife…

You hide your real name
Your real location
You want to hide from people
If you make wrong …you still safe your reputation

Astaghfirullah…

My Dear brothers
Where is the responsible gone?
Where is the shame gone?
Is that what said as the best ummah ?

If Umar still alive he would hit your head with his stick
He might behead you with his sword

You are a qowam
Allah raise you higher with that title..
To carry more responsibility
There are huge responsibilities on your shoulder
You are our hope to revive the ummah

You responsible to care you sisters
You should protect them
Not act like a wolf who ready to eat them
Not act like a evil who ready to trapped them
Not act like a devil who will ready to mislead them
Not act like a “bastard” who destroys their life…

Give them space…
Instead giving insecure feeling
They always alert with your presence
They try to hide their gender
They have to lie about their status
They hesitate to speak
They hesitate to contribute

Don’t teach them more how to hide
Don’t put them in condition to be an expert liar
In the sake of protection

Brothers
What do you feel?
Didn’t that click you something?
Dint that lower your dignity?
How could you become that low?
Your fellow sisters should protect themselves that way…
Didn’t you feel like a harm contagious disease?

Young brothers…
Please utilize your time…
Instead monitoring women’s Id
The responsibility in your shoulder is bigger…

Remember Muhammad Al Fatih Murad
Remember Usamah bin Zaid
Remember Abdullah bin Zubair
Remember all your great predecessors..

They conquered Rome
They conquered Persian
They conquered Constantinople

Shame of you
All in your mind just about conquer girls…

Think what you contribute for the ummah
What you have done for Islam….
Learn their life journey
Follow their trait….

Please…
We should build a health environment
Apply the real teaching of Qur’an wa Sunnah
No suspicious
No envious
Taking care each other
Join in good
Forbid in evil
Protect each other dignity and the honor….

My dear respect brother….
I don’t mean to be rude
I don’t mean to teach you something
All what I do just trying to convey the messages….
I believe you more than strong to accept the more sharp criticize
You are a man….
InshaAllah the seed for the glory of Ummah…..

Wallahualam bishshowab…..

To be continues inshaAllah

 

~Worse than thirty-six of zina: like a man commit incest with his mother ~

Sister in Islam says:
There were 2 proposals at the day of my brother’s wedding
Sister in Islam says:
But all rejected
Rytha says:
Why?
Sister in Islam says:
Coz he works in a bank
Rytha says:
Why you refuse the one who work in bank?
Sister in Islam says:
Coz it is a bank deal with riba
Sister in Islam says:
So his money is haram, Actually I know what bank he works in
Sister in Islam says:
I know it is riba
Rytha says:
Then it’s different thing
Sister in Islam says:
U know, when his mother called to ask mother about me
Sister in Islam says:
Mother told her for what I rejected
Sister in Islam says:
She said: “yes I understand even his aunty don’t take his gifts to her coz it is from riba bank money”
Rytha says:
mashaAllah your people really careful about these things , subhanallah
Rytha says:
May Allah give you best sis
Sister in Islam says:
Sis, it is haram food, cloth, living u r talking about, not anything
Rytha says:
yes, I understand sis….
Sister in Islam says:
alhmdolilah sis the right one will come one time
Rytha says:
insyaAllah

That conversation took place some years ago.

May Allah subhana wata’ala bless and protect this sister and her family. May Allah reward her persistent for care the purity of her life and steadfast in her deen.

Nowadays, the matter of ribaa (usury) is something very common, touch to the most of our life aspect.

It’s very rare to find someone like her who steadfast to care her deen. I do know very much how much she wished to get married in soon but the matter of deen is not something to be compromised. That what a real Moslem should do, she can’t throw her belief for comfort luxurious life even she knew a man who works in bank usually earns very good salary. It’s a guaranty for a comfort luxurious life, a grant he can fulfill all worldly desire.

Alhamdulillah she is so many patience to wait the right person.

Once she made the wrong decision, It will affect not only her world life but also her hereafter life, not only about her life but also the life of her children. What will be the children who grow from haram money? Haram money that will convert to be their bloods, minds, heart, all our children’s organs, intact to them forever ……Flesh that grows from haram money will not free from the hell fire… na’uzubillah

There will be no chance to get the pious sprouts that will make do’a for their parents. Consume haram wealth prevent their du’aa be answered[1] . What will be our life if our du’a not be answered by Allah, we need to make du’a all time, our life full with du’a start from we wake up in the morning until we ready to close of our eyes….

It’s impossible to seek the blessing and the mercy of Allah. Allah is good and only accepts that which is good. Wallahualam…

Do we really think about ribaa in these days? Ribaa become too common and be the part of our daily system. Many Moslem accept to fall easily to this system without feel anything, not hesitate to fall into ribaa transaction as if the sin is so light, because it something very common….

Does the riba really that light ?

We often feel so much disgust when we find someone commit zina… but we don’t feel anything when we see someone commit ribaa.

Ikhwah fillah…… Rasulullah salalallahu alahi wassalam said “A dirham which a man consumes as ribaa knowingly is worse before Allaah than thirty-six acts of zina.” [2] In another narration Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam describe that : “There are seventy-two types of riba, the least of which is like a man committing incest with his mother.” [3]

Rasulullah sallahu ahaihi wassalam warned us ribaa is one the seven big sins that doom someone to the Hell… na’uzubillah…. It’s in the same class of shirk and killer. [4]

Astaghfirullah wa atubu ilaika….

Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam inform us someone who consume riba will stand in a river of blood; try to move from that river. But there is a man on the other bank of the river with stones, that man will throw a tones in his mouth and he will go back to were he had been… [5]

Allah subhana wata’ala says someone who eat riba will not stand on the Day of resurrection except like the standing of a person beaten by shaytaan (Satan) leading him to insanity [6]

Na’uzubillah….

InshaAllah we are in journey to be a true believer, a true sincere believer will not feel comfort after hear the reminder from Allah and His Messenger. We have to afraid from the wrath of Allah.

Allah subhana wata’ala says “O you who believe! Be afraid of Allaah and give up what remains (due to you) from Riba” [7]

It’s indeed a test in our time to be patience to not fall in this sin. There are so many temptations and the shaytan keep whispering to create the reasons to trap us into this sins. The evils may say if we can’t take loan from ribaa bank, then we will not able to have a house soon….

Some people may think this as the condition of darurat (urgent) situation.

Can we afford to rent house that free from ribaa?

Should we have car with interest loans?
Should all of us have credit card?
Do we need join all kind of insurances?

Is that something bother if until the rest of life we cant own any house, car, credit card, insurance but die in the state Allah please with us ?

However we should not have all what we want, especially if what we want can make us slip from the way that may displease Allah…. There are already so many things that we can’t avoid that make us involve in system that displease Allah, we shouldn’t add more sins with sins that consciously, deliberately we fall to them…. Na’uzubillah..

We have to be careful to watch our steps. Some may think, it’s only them who ask interest who is sinned. Rasulullah salallahu alahi wassalam cursed the one who consumes riba, the one who pays it, the one who records it and the two who witness it, and he said: “They are all the same.” [8] They are all equal in sin.

Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam said ” There will come a day where a Muslim holding fast to his deen (religion) is like he who is gripping a hot coal” [9].

InshaAllah We should try to be taqwa the maximum thing that we can. Every Muslim has to implement Islamic law, with all possible means, in all affairs inshaAllah in accordance with a verse of Qur’an that we often recite in our prayer :

“My prayer, my sacrifice, my life and my death are for Allah”.

Wallahualam bishshowab

Rytha
Batam 19 March 2007

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[1] Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam mentioned about a man who has traveled on a long journey and is disheveled and covered with dust; he stretches forth his hands to the heaven, (saying) “O Lord, O Lord”, but his food is haraam, his drink is haraam, all his nourishment is haraam, so how can he du’aa’ be accepted?” Narrated by Muslim.
[2] Narrated by Ahmad and al-Tabaraani; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 3375.
[3] Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Awsat; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 3537.
[4] It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Avoid the seven sins that doom a person to Hell.” They said: O Messenger of Allaah, what are they? He said: “Shirk (associating others with Allaah), witchcraft, killing a soul whom Allaah has forbidden us to kill, expect in cases determined by Islamic law, consuming riba, consuming orphans’ wealth, running away from the battle field, and slandering chaste, innocent believing women.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2615; Muslim, 89.
[5] It was narrated that Samurah ibn Jundub (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: Last night I saw two men who came to me and took me out to a holy land. We set out until we came to a river of blood in which a man was standing, and on the bank of the river there was a man with stones in front of him. The man who was in the river came and wanted to get out, but the other man threw a stone in his mouth and he went back to where he had been. Every time he wanted to get out, he threw a stone in his mouth and he went back to where he had been. I said, ‘What is this?’ He said: ‘The one whom you saw in the river is the one who consumed riba.’” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1979
[6] “Those who eat Ribaa will not stand (on the Day of Resurrection) except like the standing of a person beaten by Shaytaan (Satan) leading him to insanity. That is because they say: “Trading is only like Riba,” whereas Allaah has permitted trading and forbidden Riba. So whosoever receives an admonition from his Lord and stops eating Riba, shall not be punished for the past; his case is for Allaah (to judge); but whoever returns (to Riba), such are the dwellers of the Fire — they will abide therein” Qur’an : Al-Baqarah 2:275
[7] Qur’an al-Baqarah 2:278
[8] Narrated by Muslim, 1598
[9] Al-Tirmidhi, sahih

 

~A Night Before Ramadan~

A friend came to visit, few days before Ramadan. That was exactly the 100th days she lost her husband, so tragic, a sudden calamity happened just few months after she lost her new born baby. I spent whole night with her… engaged in conversation like haven’t met for ages….

Carefully I tried to not mention his name, not lead her to anything that can bring back his memories…I wanted to keep and cover him away from her mind…..

We talked about books but that made her remember a book gifted from our close friend. She said : “He loved that book, that was his favorite book, he read it anywhere, in the house, in the car….I didn’t really interest to read before….but after he gone I curious to read it…. No wonder he loved it…. “

She said it with calm expressions.

I was mistake, she shouldn’t forget him. He was half of her soul, someone who ever place a special place in her heart, his memory may the best part in her life that she wants always remember….

Anytime she mentioned his name, somehow my heart bleeding…, …. She is so strong. She still like 3 years ago when we separated in graduation day. Her smiles still same like when I attended her wedding days….

She still like high school girl… I kidded her how she could manage people and meet the clients who twice taller and bigger than her.. She does… She always confidence… That’s tinny lady flight thousands miles to bring back her husband in coffin. Maybe that the only day I saw she crying…

Her patience and strength slap me who was even couldn’t believe my dear friend have to be a widow in such young age… it was so bitter mixed with angry how could he left her so fast to feel short time happiness…astaghfirullah wa atbu ilaika…

Life seem so smooth, graduated, get great job, married very nice man … having house….car… Indeed To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return … He will take anytime He wishes…

If only I could smiles lightly like she did…

I wanted to see her heart, see the pains which she covered with her smiles… She came to visit all her friends… to shared her smiles….Did she smiles just to make us happy to know she is fine…she is Ok,… She will survive…? wallahualam

Crying over calamity is natural..
But keep smiling to the destiny of Allah
To accept it patiently, sincerely
Really the highest state of submission to the will of Allah
The highest submission to every best trust
The totality of faith and trust to the best

Indeed her visit… a night that I spent is a wonderful gift from Allah…. To a reflections.. Pondering in this blessed Ramadhan…

Every soul shall have a taste of death: and We test you by evil and by good by way of trial. to Us must ye return. [Qur’an 21:35]
Lahaulla walla quwata illa billah…

Rytha

Bandung, 20 October 2005

 

~A friend (Part 4)~

We have to ready losing a friend…at anytime.

Some of friends will forget you at time they have find the comfort life, they as if do not think how lonely your life without them.

Some friends will behave like want to move away from your life even if you try your best run to keep close with them, until you feel exhausted, then decide you are really unwanted; have to leave them in peace…

Some friends keep be with you because she feel some advantages from you … they are there when they need you….

Friends that you think so close to you, not always the one who will keep laughing with you in the next some years…

We can’t complain why such a friend can do that, because your live have to go on…..

The best way to overcome those feeling is to choose passing your life in best way too….

Be grateful to Allah subhana wata’ala for every friend that come across in your life…Allah gives you chance to learn a lot from them, about life, about many different human characters. You can understand more what the meaning of true and sincere friendship is.

Rasulullah salalhu alaihi wassalam said “a believer is the mirror of his brother” [1] That mean if we sees any faults in the other believer, that will draws our attention , to helps our friend to give it up and helps them wipe away any evil that they may have.

There is no more sad experience compare to losing a friendship because you trying to be the mirror, to advice them in da’wah ilallah., when you wish something good for them like the good thing that happened in your life, when you think you should share the best part that you found in your life.

A good change in your life doesn’t always make you get more friendships.…. Not all of your friend will be happy with it… not all of them appreciate it like the way you do…

Remember Rasulullsah salalhu alahi wassalam and his companions radiyallahu anhum had to lose not only their friends but also their dear families when they embraced Islam. They are the best people, but they also experienced the losing of their dear ones. They never regret, for the truth that they found, they stick to it to the last blood….

We will lose our dear friends when we follow their trait too. There are so many people who will against us when we are trying to stick to the true teaching of Islam and persistent to apply His sunnah, they are including your dear friends….

I nearly to lose some friends because of that…or maybe I have lost their friendship…. Wallahualam.

It’s indeed unbearable pain….. Feeling like stranger, so lonely, one by one your friends leaving you. They just can’t fit with you anymore. You like an alien from the outer space… Your sincere advice will be sounded like criticize their ways ……

However why so sad…. I am not losing my faith….Alhamdulillah… a true friend still exist…… Friends who make you glow and say that they love you so much… the love purely for the sake of Allah…

A true friend,….maybe some of them have to depart from your life because they sometimes just don’t have choice…. But each time she has contact with the “world” she keep asking you….still remember you….Even if she never in touch with you…. She always remembers you in every prayer….. Always keep all the memory intact in her mind and wishing one day Allah will gather you again in jannah….. “Allah subhana wata’ala said: `Those who love one another for My glory will have minbars of light, and the Prophets and martyrs will wish that they had the same.” [2]

There is still friends who patiently to guide you to make you discover the true teaching of islam….

Alhamdulillah I found some friends who keep stick to me patiently accompany me to find the light, the true teaching of Islam… that the most precious treasure, indeed a great blessing from Allah…..

InshaAllah have trust in Allah., after so long journey in searching of true friendship, Allah will finally bless us some of true friendship, at least we will have better understanding what is a true friendship.

That’s journey maybe long… the journey might be full of bitterness and pain. It somehow depend on how you learn yourself and how your improve yourself. A true mo’min will not keep her falling to the same hole and keep doing the same mistake, we should always learn from the mistakes….

Wallahualam bishshowab.

Batam 17 March 2007
Rytha

[1]Abu Dawood, Hasan Hadith
[2] Reported by Tirmidhi, 4/24, Bab ma ja’a fi al-hubb fi-Allah; he said, it is a sahih hasan hadith.

 

~A friend (Part 3)~

Sometimes, a concept of friendship in our childhood times seems simpler; mostly end with happy ending. Our friends surely will love us if we keep sharing them sweetness of candies, they will never abuse us if we show them the way how to do something correctly.

When we grow up…. Even if we knee down and saying wallahi I am doing all of these sincerely for your goodness…. I want you also feel the same sweetness of faith and the beautiful of Islam like I do… I care so much for your goodness……Not all our friends will take it in the same way….Simply because not all of them are happy about that ….

However….We never able to go back to our childhood time, we can’t expect people consider us like an innocent children.

All we can do just learn to be stronger, patience… grow up and more mature.

This is another sad chapter that I got from a friend….

Long time ago a friend writes this to me……

Rytha

I never wanted to be on your GROUP of brothers and sisters… and despite asking you so many times not to include me in your silly low level of sick TABLEEGHI mindset why the hell are u sticking to me…. can you just forgive my life and stop trying to enter it. I am telling you to stay away as you are constantly disturbing my peace.

Your group of people can enjoy your greetings and best wishes always .. just keep away from me. If you dont understand and kept bugging me then i will definitely come down to your level and make you away by something you wont ever forget

Allah will guide you if you open your eyes and mind. Some people have their eyes and hearts locked up….. You have been told hundreds of times to respect others privacy and life and dont enter without being asked…. Where is your shame then? WHY THE HELL ARE U STICKING AND FOLLOWING ME AND TRYING TO FIND WAYS AND REASONS TO CONTACT BY ONE WAY OR OTHER WHEN YOU KNOW THAT I JUST DONT WANT TO ASSOCIATE WITH YOU

THERE IS A THIN BORDER BETWEEN SHAMLESSNESS AND THE STUBBORNNESS…. MANY STUBBORN PEOPLE KEEP BUGGING AND IGNORE WHEN THEY ACTUALLY CROSS THE LIMITS OF RESPECT…… I have been CONSTANTLY hinting you to keep distance but you goof dont know where to stop

are u doing it for YOUR ISLAM?? it must be something that you can call ISLAM not others…. you are trying to gain things in the name of ISLAM in a hope to keep others with you because you cant get them otherwise but you will be answering ALLAH for this dJust keep away from me… do you understand ?? otherwise i know how to take away your peace of mind also…..
I know a bitch like you wont understand easily but i know how to FIX you and your shamelessness

So if you cant control your feelings next time…. then spend it somewhere else but stay away from me……. i dont need to be associated with an internet bitch who has many MALES around her to satisfy her and who wears HIJABS and says ISLAM ISLAM…… and …….

END ….

Only Allah who knows best what I felt after read such rude email……This poem maybe can describe what I feel…

Ya Allah
Why there is a person who can be trying to be that cruel…
Is that meant…. Am I really that cruel?

Which sins that made me has to pay for this….
Is this a calamity because of my sins…?
Perhaps my istighfar not enough to forgive me
Or is this a test for my patience and sincerity…

You the only one who know the journey of this…
You are the witness of the truth of it…..

Did I care him with the wrong way?
I am not complaining to You….
Caring of him taught me the meaning of real patience and sincerity…
Till I forget what the meaning of hate and pain…

If I am oppressed you must answer my pray…
Please be with him always….
Please help him always….
Please take care him always….
Please forgive him always….
Please make him like the one that You love always

I believe he is a better person than what he showed…
I believe he has heart….
I believe he has a lot of goodness…
He just tried hurt himself…..
Please forgive him…..

My dear lord I leave him with you
Make him meets things that he search in his life…….
Never leave him alone….even if how naughty he is
He needs You more than before…

Ameen ya robbal alamin….

” so lost no heart, nor fall into despair. For ye must gain mastery if ye are true in faith” [HQ 3:139]

Lahaula walla quwata illa billah…..

I kept that letter for sometimes, I delete it from my inbox when I didn’t feel the same sad and pain anymore read it again… It’s like kind of therapy for me, a therapy to comprehend what actually I feel, until I can let my heart free and relief.

It’s also an evaluation for a mistake that I did. In this case I also made a mistake. It’s a mistake to involve too close with non mahram man even if our intention is pure.

I learn one precious lesson, even if how sincere we are…. we woman tend to be so personal when dealing with brother. Woman tend to act like a hero who wants to save all live…. She is so much sensitive, her soft and tender heart cant let other alone if she think her friends need guide, always think to be a savior for that person, even if time by time she make herself drawn.

I conclude it’s better in the first place a brother help another brother and a sister try to limit herself to communicate with sister….inshaAllah it will be safer…wallahualam…

In adult world, not all of our friends like if us, we try to be balance, always tell nice things, keep send Islamic messages, etc. It like a torture for their morality sometimes… And for sure you are indeed a bored creature for them… astaghifirullah…

That day I learnt if two completely different friends will be hardly to get along well. It like you both living in the different planet… talk different language, have opposite frame of thought…….

Someone who attach her heart to attend majelis ilmy [assembly to learn Islamic knowledge] impossible to be fit with a friend who cant sit even for few minutes in that gathering. That kind of friend maybe feels better if she sit in café, watch movie in cinema, shopping, saloon etc…

If you love listen and recite Quranic verse….You cant stand well be among of friends who crazy about music…. You heart become dull… Your friend also feel same, she feel you how so old fashion, what a pathetic creature who do not know new hits and famous singer you are….You like a person who have been living in the cave for whole of your life….

A friend who usual being among mixed groups of opposite gender will always enjoy be in party and hanging with her males friends. You can’t stand if should company her/him. If she go with you in a sparete gathering… it will be so strange…..How many of people on this earth prepare for attend separate gathering!

You will be really exactly like a ghuroba [stranger], You will completely just different.. like earth and heaven.. day and night… just exactly like in opposite personality and character….

If keep going together…one will influence other or one will be influenced by other. That’s why we should very careful to choose our friend. In an authentic Hadith, Rasulullah salallahu alaihi wassalam said: “A person is likely to follow the faith of his friend, so look whom you befriend.” [Abu Dawood and at-Tirmithi] “The example of a bad companion is the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows.. he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him.” ( Al-Bukhari and Muslim) .

If we befriend with a virtue person, inshaAllah at least we have obey the sunnah of Rasullullah sallahu alaihi wassalam to choose a good companions. We inshaAllah will follow her habit and her goodness too. But if we follow a bad friend, people mostly think we just the same like our friends…

A real friendship is where you can advice each other in good things and reject in evils….

The last that I learnt, being hurt and sad if can’t help to light your dear friend to the truth at first it’s really human being, it test our sincerity when we guidance our friend to the light of islam… but it shouldn’t ever discourage us to keep telling the truth. Never give up inhsaAllah.

Alhamdulillah it encourage me to learn more how the methodology of Rasulullah salalhu alahi wassalam deal with people….

When I feel so many friends love us.. When I hear they praise and say I am a pleasant friend…I always remember this short term of my life… Somehow it help me a lot to go down to the earth at anytime some friends make me fly with such of praise. Because I remember there is friend who thinks I am not that good. It make me more realize …. Actually Allah the one who install love and appreciation in other’s heart.. it’s for sure Allah who cover my sins and my weakness that make other can see me in beautiful shape and appreciate what I do…. Therefore there is nothing that we can proud about….

Wallahualam bishshowab…

To be continue inshaAllah

 

~A friend (Part 2)~

When we was kids we think friendship only about sharing our toys, go here and there in group… fighting because of silly reasons etc…But no matter how bad you fight each other you still can get along again after some days as if nothing happened before with no any hatred.

When I grow up I understand there are so many complex matters that can be happened in friendship. Sometimes things just cant be the same anymore…

Once I thought I had found a very wonderful friendship….

It like you has found a friend that so close to your heart…. The one that you laugh a lot with, share a lot of things, someone you pour your heart, you do love her whole heartily …Love her for the sake of Allah.

Anytime you saw her from far distance that already lift you so much, so much excited to meet your dear friend…. Your heart fill of happiness and love, smiles automatically growing on your face even before she notice your present…just because you already feel the joy of going talk to her…you rush to coming toward her impatiently to share more more stories…If possible running to embrace her… You have kept so much in your mind to share her.

That all what I felt about this wonderful friend…..

But then suddenly you get stunned ….something wrong….but you don’t know why… you just feel something changed… she keep something…until one day she sent you an email…. You so excited to read it…. But Her email sound like a thunder that cause a hard storm into your heart……The sky suddenly so dark, as dark as what you feel after finish read the last sentence….

She seem just awake you from long sleep, she make you afraid about the bad side of yourself. You lost your confidence as if you even don’t know who you are. You think she cant make wrong judgment as she has known you for long time, all what she wrote must be the truth…

She said she was hurt, the worse I the one who hurt her….

That what happened. It was so much sad me for some days, I need few days to evaluate myself….

I feel like the worse friend on earth….How could I smiled, too overwhelmed by loves but so blind to realize if I already hurt a friend that so close to me….

I asked for forgiveness…..

I couldn’t bear to be close with her without feeling sad, hardly to forgive myself, always haunt with my own thought I had hurt her.

That day I learnt…

We often take granted the one who close with us will fully understand us… This make us tend become careless to give best attitude to our close ones… We sometimes often become so blind about what your close people feel.. be insensitive to what happening with them…….

Another great lesson I learnt….

It’s indeed unbearable painfully when people misunderstanding you…. We have to open ourselves to help other understand us to prevent them misunderstanding us….

Remember Rasulullah salallahu alahi wassalam, Narrated from Anas Radiyallhu anhu said, “Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or he is an oppressed one. People asked, “O Allah’s Apostle! It is all right to help him if he is oppressed, but how should we help him if he is an oppressor?” The Prophet said, “By preventing him from oppressing others.” [HR Bukhari Volume 3, Book 43, Number 624]

Don’t open the opportunity for our close friend to hurt us…. We have to help her to understand if we don’t like her way… if we don’t like her attitude… if we find something wrong…. Don’t keep it… don’t burry it inside your heart but revenge… We should concern to not make her be oppressor who hurt you all time… However it for our goodness too… It better to communicate from heart to heart honestly rather than just keep it but being exploded at the end…. It could be so much shock… could destroy anything…

There are things that been broken …will be very difficult to mend

Deep down inside I promise to keep learning how to understanding other better…especially my dear close ones….It so hurtful being misunderstood…I don’t want they feel that hurt if I misunderstand them…

It’s so much hurtful… It will be much more hurtful when you fail to understanding someone that so much close to you …..

At least we should try our best…

Lahaula walla quwata illa billah…

Alhamdulillah we are still friends…. But it feel just not same anymore… ….

To be continue InshaAllah

 

~A friend (Part 1)~

They are many friends that we made in our life… just few who remain forever..

They have to move on with their life, times make they have to change doesn’t matter your life are just seem the same.

I still remember some friends in my childhood time when I was about 3 to 7 years old that was the most beautiful moments because I felt I had many friends. The closest ones are one girl and two 2 boys who living close to my home.….One of the boy is from non Moslem family.

We separated when our daddy had to move to different city…

I remember I tried to trace where they are, I often asked my parents where they are. My parents sometimes meet their parents in some company’s events, I wish if by chance we were passing their places we could come by…

I was very happy that girl moved close to my elementary school.. Each time I passing her house I watching her house carefully wishing if I could see her somewhere smiling to me , asked me to stop and invited me to her house to “play” and share many stories like old time…… I wish my mom would have any kind of mother clubs visiting there where they allowed to bring kids… so I could meet my friends….But usually parents events didn’t include children

I wrote her letters through her younger brother who was studying in the same school…I was so much happy she replied me [maybe not less than got the love letter ]. I felt like It was a very briliant idea to start writing her letter and she answered it.

We exchanged letter for sometimes, She is older than me…..I admire all things about her, I even amaze with the way she made the envelope, it looked so cute, I tried to make my own too when replied her letter [but it not as nice as her ]. I read her letters so many times…. , I admire her pretty hand writings…. She sometimes wrote some words in English!, it sound very cool ….. I asked her… Did she need open dictionary if she want to write sentence in English? She seems so perfect to me as she always good in the study….

After sometimes the correspondence just stopped ….Not me who stopped it…. I remember she didn’t reply my letter when I started comment her about her boyfriend when she said she has one … What I was a very tinny kid what I know about having boyfriend ! I also do not have idea where that thought comes from to advice her to not have boyfriend….

I learnt…. an adult doesnt like a kid lecture them sometimes…. Be kid should be polite if you want to say your opinions…..

I met one of those boys when I was in high school …His school just next to mine…Once I followed my parents visit his house…… He seems doesn’t recognize me… I remember him because one scratch on my leg that I got when ride his bikes…..

I wondered why he didnt choose to study in the same high school. His uncle said…. even if both that school next each other… and my school is best one.. he doesnt like to be there… He said that school seem bored.. so many serious people..and too many hijabi girl there ..

That day… I learnt……. I think we grew in different direction …… wallahualam…

I met the last boy when went to university…. It was my mom who told me if one of my old friends also joined the same university….Surprised he is smart too …

I asked my classmate regarding him to confirm that news…. But my friend told me… : “Rytha, but he is non Moslem”
“ So what ? I just asking about him…. I am not going to marry him”….

If woman ask about man that not all want to marry him… I just getting excited…I found an old friend.

My mom said that his mom told him too if I also study in the same university like him……. But he said his mom : “ Who is Rytha? “

He doesn’t remember me at all…

His mom screams at him, she couldn’t believe her son forget me…She told him all our childhood time, trying to recall him all our childhood memory… She lecture him how we grow up together…, always go anywhere together… She said is that little girl who help you escape for home when I was locking you in room because I was giving you punishment for be so much naughty…. etc etc…

Still he doesn’t remember at all…

But I still remember clearly… how silly kids all of us…. I tried to follow those boys’ activities…..climbing the tree, crossing the big ditch …swim in the dirty pool….jumping, running, salto in the yard… We had imagination hero….. riding bike around the complex…. Fighting … Share stupid ghost story….. etc….

Astaghfirullah… silly… but we were kids…..

I totally lost contact with all of them now…

I learn…
They are friends when I was very young, but it still clearly upset to know they do not remember you, feel like they do not keep your childhood memory as precious as you think about them…. …

It somehow bitter to feel things have to change and you find you not in the same way with them….

We were kids…. All what happened in kids’ time were just innocent…. So… it doesn’t matter if they do not remember their childhood friends…. It consider innocent too… wallahualam…..

However their mother at least still remember who are you

To be continue…inshaAllah.